‘He didn’t want sex, just attention’: We talked to a former schoolgirl sugar baby who earned £10,000 in gifts

The sugar baby lifestyle is an undoubtedly mysterious one. After all, being paid to date someone twice your age can sound both repulsive and too good to be true. Sugar babies can rack up thousands in monthly allowances, through relationships that can sometimes just be platonic.

In most cases, the relationship becomes an arrangement between the sugar baby and her sugar daddy, with established requirements and boundaries set at the beginning – though the nature of the arrangements obviously varies from person to person.

Looking to uncover some of the secrets behind these relationships, we spoke to Beth*, who, now a student, became an “accidental” sugar baby during her last year of high school.

How did you meet your sugar daddy?

I really wasn’t looking to meet a sugar daddy – I barely even knew about the lifestyle at that point. He found me on Facebook, and it was lucky that I even opened his text in the first place.

How did the relationship begin?

I was weary at first, but he turned out to be very friendly. I don’t want to say fatherly, but our interactions were more serious than those of a normal couple would be. He made it very clear that he wasn’t looking for a “natural” boyfriend/girlfriend type of relationship, so there was always an underlying sense of seriousness there.

He propositioned me early on – a week after we’d started talking, or so. He offered me an allowance straight up, £200 a month. He also clarified that he didn’t want sex, just attention. I guess that’s what really piqued my curiosity. The whole thing was very business-like, with his text feeling like a contract. We met up for the first time at a restaurant near where I lived, and I had a friend sitting nearby, pretending not to know me, in case things got scary. But they didn’t. He showed up with the most beautiful bracelet from a shop I love, and a bag full of snacks for me to take back to school. Those were his first presents.

Beth's sugar daddy gave her £10,000 worth of gifts

How old was he?

He claimed to be 46, but I suspected he was older.

What was the relationship like?

Difficult to describe. So many people think that sugar babies are like glorified prostitutes, but I know several people who don’t sleep with their sugar daddies. I think mine just liked being seen with a piece of arm candy who could discuss culture and literature with him, too. We went on monthly dates around London, but I never went to his house.

He did like me to dress nice, and would sometimes buy me things I didn’t necessarily like, then expect me to wear them anyway. There was a feeling of control, and he ended up being very authoritative. The whole thing lasted for over six months.

Were there any specific things he asked of you?

One time, he got us tickets to watch this concert, and slipped £300 into my bank account for me to buy a dress with. I saved that money and wore something I already owned, and he flipped – that led to our biggest argument ever, and I didn’t get my allowance that month. He also suggested shopping trips, where he watched me try stuff on and paid for it if he liked it. At that point, I felt sort of like a doll, but I guess it was worth it.

He also wanted to text every day, and if more than about two hours went by between texts, he’d complain. He called me often, as well, and made me send him my timetable so that he’d know when I was available. He asked for pictures, too, obviously – not super naughty ones, but he liked them to be cheeky. Bonus points if I was wearing something he’d bought me. He also wanted me to read specific books, and watch specific films in order to “build the connection”, which sort of implied that there would be some intimacy later on in the relationship.

What sort of things did he pay for?

Clothes and makeup, mainly. He also sent me takeaways to both home and school, and would get me nice jewellery whenever I’d “behaved” well.

She must have behaved really well to get this ring

Did you have to establish any boundaries?

I established from the beginning that I wasn’t willing to sleep with him – I think he expected it to happen eventually, but I got away without doing it. I also said I didn’t want us to date around the area I lived in, in case my family or friends saw.

Did you tell anyone?

Most of the girls in my year at school knew – he unknowingly bought us all takeaway quite a few times. My mum came close to finding out, too. I’d been using tutoring as an explanation for all that extra cash, but it came to a point where it wasn’t that believable any more.

How much money did you get out of the whole thing?

In total, almost £2000 just for me – though he must’ve spent close to £10,000 in gifts. It’s so baffling to think about.

Sugar babies don't use Rimmel

How did it end?

We'd been arguing for a while, and he stopped giving me gifts so often. Eventually it ended amicably three days before my graduation from school.

Would you ever do it again?

Even though uni life is hard and I’m sometimes tempted, I am in committed relationship now that I hope will last – so no.

*Name has been changed. Featured image does not depict the subject of the interview.