All the things Edinburgh could spend £40k on that aren’t nap pods

Hint: Literally anything else


The news that students had voted overwhelmingly for EUSA to petition the University to spend £40,000 on four nap pods for the library caused quite a stir last week.

Since then there has been a Twitter storm with everything from students wishing they could swap to study at Edi to insults of “snowflake students” banded about from people who look like they’d be arrested if they came within 500 yards of a Students’ Union.

And it’s true, that in a utopian world we’d have thousands of personalised nap pods, ready and waiting for when Linguistics 2B is getting a bit too much and we need somewhere to nap it out or have a wee crisis in private. But, sadly this is Brexit Britain, and nothing is fun anymore.

Therefore, here are some things that that £40,000 might be better spent on.

Counselling sessions

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Currently, Edinburgh students are entitled to just four short-term counselling sessions, and can wait up to six months for them. Although the uni has invested a lot in the counselling service, the wait to see a counsellor and the amount of time dedicated to each student is still downright pathetic. Any extra money the university has should surely be invested here.

Library seats and desks

Okay, so there may be places to revise other than the library, but at the end of the day students on most courses need access to books and resources only available there and hence need seats in the library to look at them. There’s no use sitting in 50 George Square if your hub books are all in the library. Plus, Glasgow’s library has 12 floors guys, come on. £40,000 might not build us six extra floors but it can buy lots of desks and chairs.

Library wardens

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Perhaps an even better idea, one which universities such as LSE, Manchester and St. Andrews have got onto: employing someone to make sure there’s no overzealous saving of lib desks. There would be no where to hide for those of us who run home for a quick lunch and two hours later are still sat watching Homes Under the Hammer while other poor souls have to sit in the nuclear bunker that is Hugh Robson because they couldn’t find a desk. You know who you are.

Books

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There is nothing worse than picking your essay for your British History course, making your way to the third floor and finding that one of the 67 other people who have picked your question have nabbed the book you need and not taken it out. Or even worse. It’s in the HUB and you have three hours to anxiously sit there and try and get everything out of it than you possibly can. In short: £40,000 would go a long way in not ruining lives.

A 15 foot statue in memory of Library Cat

It’s been months now since Edinburgh’s beloved carnivorous figure has been missing and people have mourned on a scale larger than that seen for Harambe. I propose we build a giant bronze statue outside the library to commemorate the life of  library cat. Trust me, this would be less of a waste of money.

The sexual harassment campaign that EUSA started and has since mysteriously disappeared

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The initiative, introduced in October by EUSA to combat sexual abuse on campus, promised ‘free training sessions’ for students and staff, and ‘support’ for anyone who had experienced or wanted to report an incident. Since then it’s all gone quiet, but don’t worry, you can still sign up to ‘pledge‘ your support on their website, so that’s helpful, I guess. In all seriousness, what could be a great initiative could maybe use that £40,000 to get going with those training sessions and support for victims of sexual harassment and abuse on campus.

Printing

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When you first enroll at Edinburgh, the university kindly donates five pound to your printing credit. Five. Whole. Scottish. Pounds. Which is worth as much as printing two essays. Never mind tutorial or essay readings or any other essays in the whole four years of your university career. Increase our print credit, please.

Making everything cheaper in Teviot and Prow

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Edinburgh’s Students’ Union is renowned for being one of the most expensive in the UK. Not only has the price of VKs risen from £2 to £2.80 in just over a year, but we’ve seen a price hike in almost everything in Teviot and Potterrow. In comparison to Napier, where you can get a double pint for £4, it’s a joke, and the £40,000 could be spent making things in our Students’ Union cost as cheap as they do in literally any normal student union.

McEwan Hall

Come back to me my precious

Really, the university should use the £40,000 to pay for the revamp of McEwan Hall and Bristo Square to be finished faster. Literally just cash the £40,000 in five pound notes and papier-mâché the roof with it. Or, even better, use it to go back to the way it was in the first place, everyone was happy then. Even if they don’t I’ll happily sell my limbs to pay for it to be finished before 2018 if it means I don’t have to graduate somewhere shite.