The Edinburgh Christmas Market is the greatest thing on earth
Just think of all the Insta opportunities
It’s official. Edinburgh’s Christmas Market has arrived.
The normally drab and grey buildings of Princes Street have been brought to life by a sparkling ferris wheel and nostalgic carousel.
And the eerie view of the Gothic rocket and castle are now illuminated by the magical fairy lights of a Christmassy wonderland.
If you couldn’t already tell, I’m pretty excited by it all.
This overwhelming tide of excitement, of course, is validated by the fact that Christmas markets are the greatest things in the world.
Call me a maverick. Even say that I’m insane. After all, it is an unconventional view.
I get that extortionately-priced drinks, gargantuan crowds of screaming kids to wade through and frustrating token systems don’t appeal to everybody.
But, for me, I still don’t think there’s a happier place in the world.
For just over a month every year, extraordinarily dull public spaces are transformed into a magical festive world of talking reindeers, sparkling Santa’s Grottos and Mairi from Fife strolling around steamed after one too many hot toddies.
The saying goes that Disneyland is the happiest place in the world but with all the Glühwein and Bratwurst on offer, Christmas Markets are essentially just a a turbo-charged Bavarian Disneyland with German levels of efficiency and a greater focus on booze and stroke-triggering food.
What’s not to love about that?
The raison d’être of these enchanting wonderlands are, of course, the actual markets.
And they are just the absolute dream. There is absolutely nowhere better to buy ridiculous, novelty Secret Santa presents for your flatmate which nobody could ever find a use for.
Long gone are the days of buying the crappy presents they sell by the till at Topman.
And long live the days of buying Eddie a wooden bow tie which he will undoubtedly respond to with the most satisfyingly baffled response you could ever hope for.
And scattered around the miniature chalets of unneeded crap are the equally wondrous fair rides, accompanied by an endless loop of NOW’S GREATEST CHRISTMAS HITS.
As soon as you enter the merry arena of Yuletide joy, age simply does not matter anymore.
Forget about your essay deadlines, relationship problems and depressing electricity bills.
You are four years old, all over again.
Sing and dance in the street to the sultry tones of Michael Bublé’s voice if you want to.
Eat candy floss and wear sparkly reindeer ears if you so desire.
And if you want to be the only person above four feet tall on the carousel, then you go and bloody do that!
Nobody will stop you because all the festive merriment allows you to act like an absolute tit and still be applauded for it.
And even if you don’t actually love the Christmas market as much as I do, just think of all the Instagram and Snapchat opportunities to pretend to your friends back home that you do. #feelingfestive
After all, nobody likes a Grinch.