Side-splitting: The best jokes from the Fringe


darren walsh dave Edinburgh fringe festival funny top 10 jokes

The top 10 jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe have been voted in, with Peterborough funnyman Darren Walsh scooping first place.

The 39-year-old’s top gag was: “I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.”

Walsh’s show Punderbolt was playing at the Pleasance, and his clever one-liner was chosen as the best by 2,000 people who pick from a shortlist compiled by judges.

The top 10

“I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.” – Darren Walsh

“Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West” – Stewart Francis

“Surely every car is a people carrier?” – Adam Hess

“What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter” – Masai Graham

“If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go” – Dave Green

“Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas” – Mark Nelson

“Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day” – Tom Parry

“The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves” – Alun Cochrane

“Clowns divorce. Custardy battle” – Simon Munnery

“They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for…” – Grace The Child

It was the eighth year of the coveted award, which is sponsored by TV station Dave.

12-year-old ‘Grace The Child’ made 10th place and was the youngest comedian at the festival.

The judges also released the one-liners who just missed out on a place in the top 10.

Darren Walsh

Best of the rest

“I never lie on my CV…because it creases it.” – Jenny Collier

“If you don’t know what introspection is you need to take a long, hard look at yourself” – Ian Smith

“I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one to one time” – Tom Ward

“Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I’m reminded of the definition of a gentleman. It’s someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t” – Gyles Brandreth

“Let me tell you a little about myself. It’s a reflexive pronoun that means ‘me'” – Ally Houston

“Earlier this year I saw “The Theory of Everything” – loved it. Should’ve been called “Look Who’s Hawking”, that’s my only criticism” – James Acaster