Side-splitting: The best jokes from the Fringe
The top 10 jokes of the Edinburgh Fringe have been voted in, with Peterborough funnyman Darren Walsh scooping first place.
The 39-year-old’s top gag was: “I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.”
Walsh’s show Punderbolt was playing at the Pleasance, and his clever one-liner was chosen as the best by 2,000 people who pick from a shortlist compiled by judges.
— British Comedy Guide (@UKComedyNews) August 24, 2015
The top 10
“I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free.” – Darren Walsh
“Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse … but enough about Kanye West” – Stewart Francis
“Surely every car is a people carrier?” – Adam Hess
“What’s the difference between a ‘hippo’ and a ‘Zippo’? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter” – Masai Graham
“If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn’t go” – Dave Green
“Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That’s not a miracle. That’s tapas” – Mark Nelson
“Red sky at night. Shepherd’s delight. Blue sky at night. Day” – Tom Parry
“The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves” – Alun Cochrane
“Clowns divorce. Custardy battle” – Simon Munnery
“They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for…” – Grace The Child
It was the eighth year of the coveted award, which is sponsored by TV station Dave.
12-year-old ‘Grace The Child’ made 10th place and was the youngest comedian at the festival.
The judges also released the one-liners who just missed out on a place in the top 10.
Best of the rest
“I never lie on my CV…because it creases it.” – Jenny Collier
“If you don’t know what introspection is you need to take a long, hard look at yourself” – Ian Smith
“I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one to one time” – Tom Ward
“Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I’m reminded of the definition of a gentleman. It’s someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t” – Gyles Brandreth
“Let me tell you a little about myself. It’s a reflexive pronoun that means ‘me'” – Ally Houston
“Earlier this year I saw “The Theory of Everything” – loved it. Should’ve been called “Look Who’s Hawking”, that’s my only criticism” – James Acaster