‘I float above the crowd’: Clubbing as a 6’7″ giant

Remember that time in Hive when you got stuck under some guy’s armpit?

I don’t.

I am 6 foot 7 inches, or just over two metres for the metrically inclined.

For us tall people, clubbing is, literally, on a different level.

PRO: You never get lost

If you’ve got stuck in the queue waiting for some bearded man to work out how to mix you a Moscow Mule, and find yourself alone in the chasms of the d-floor, fear not: people come to you.

You’re a bloody tower, a beacon of familiarity, and fortress of reliability.

We found him!

CON: If you want to get lost, you can’t

Keeping your head down is not an option unfortunately.

That girl from the Big Cheese at Freshers Week, yep, she’s seen you, and she’s about to ask you why you never replied to her texts.

That rugby lad who you thought it might be funny to draw a dick on when he passed out after initiations, yep, he’s seen you, and he’s got the whole bloody team here with him.

PRO: You avoid the dreaded armpits

No matter how much Lynx Africa you spray on, mate, as soon as you pass the bouncers your armpits are wetter than the Amazon.

Being a level above avoids the sweat-infused mist which hovers at armpit level.

Someone’s gonna have to smell them, and it ain’t gonna be me…

CON: Attention is diverted to your armpits

The ultimate lose-lose situation I’m afraid.

Inevitably, someone’s going to have stink here, and unfortunately it is your armpits which are getting sniffed.

Try and look cool when a miniature reservoir is clearly visible in your underarm region – it’s difficult.

PRO: Dancing has never felt better

There’s nothing quite like floating above the crowd while a seductive bass line caresses the ears of your fellow club goers.

You know that annoying girl at festivals riding the shoulders of some poor mug desperate to appear chivalrous – it’s like that all the time.

When the camera lens can’t quite fit you in…

CON: Dancing has never looked worse

Chances are, the image of you controlling the crowd, arms rolling and fists pumping, aren’t quite as attractive to your on-looking audience, as your limbs helplessly flail about as if you’re desperately trying to avoid a wasp.