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My name is Josh Kay and I have answered your questions – Part 1

Answers from The Tab Durham’s resident agony uncle


Hey there! And welcome to my first agony uncle article. I'm so happy that so many of you have written in to me in just the first few days – so let's dive on in!

1. Lost love

"I met this guy last summer – we've been texting since then, and I assumed there was some sort of romantic interest, he acted as if he liked me. Today he goes like 'I've met someone'. I am like what. Should I tell him about my feelings?"

It seems that the time for trying to get together with him has passed. I would say yes, tell him how you feel. Not to try and form a romance, but to try and move past your feelings. It would be worth telling him that you're only telling him to help you move on. If you've been texting for this long, you clearly work great as friends – and hopefully after an awkward couple of weeks, you'd have moved on enough to keep texting him as a friend.

2. Left alone

"Dear Joshie, I haven't left my room since freshers. My only contact with humans is in lectures and on Friday socials that don't involve drinking. With the strike, my human contact has been further reduced. Do you have any advice on me leaving my room?"

It's easy to find yourself trapped in a routine where you don't go out. Try to slowly change this routine, one part at a time. Maybe go to your college library or the Billy B to work for a couple of afternoons each week, just so you're leaving your room more regularly. Perhaps you could invite some friends to your room so if you are going to be sitting in your room, you won't be alone. Message me on Facebook if you fancy meeting up sometime so we can get tea together to help kick-start these changes!

3. Homework help

"What are Maxwell's equations in differential form?"

1) ∇ ⋅ E = 0

2) ∇ ⋅ B = 0

3) ∇ × E = −∂B/∂t

4) ∇ × B = μ0j + ∂E/∂t 1/c^2

Hope this helps!

"How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?"

A woodchuck's burrow has an average volume of 0.17 cubic meters. Taking elm wood, a tree native to the North Eastern United States, to have a density of 570 kg per cubic meter, this would mean that a woodchuck's burrow, if dug into elm wood, would cause the woodchuck to chuck about 97kg of wood per burrow.

"Dear Josh, Could you please derive Schrödinger's equation? Thanks mate."

I could, however it would save a lot of space if I directed you to this link instead.

4. Forbidden love

"I'm worried my best friend is in love with me and I don't want it to ruin our friendship as I don't know how I feel about that."

If they haven't said or done anything, do you need to do anything about it either? Perhaps they recognise that you'd work better as friends anyway and are trying to let their feelings pass. On the off chance they're just waiting for the right time, when they do make a move – tell them how you feel: that you want to just be friends. Don't stop spending time with them and hopefully after that, all will return to as it was before.

5. How is Josh Kay?

"Josh! I don't think this is asked enough! But, how are you?!! HOW IS JOSH KAY? THIS IS WHAT I NEED TO KNOW. Honestly I need to know."

Josh Kay is oKay!

"Are you the famous footballer?"


6. When health is at question

"Dear Josh, I ate a cigarette filter. What do I do?"

Well, whilst eating a cigarette filter certainly isn't good for you, it shouldn't be too bad for you either, assuming it's an unused paper filter. Don't do it again and all should be fine!

"Can't you stop the smokers dropping their cigarette butts outside the Billy B?" – The phrasing on this submission has been altered

Perhaps an email to the Bill Bryson library ([email protected]) to encourage them to install a bin with an ashtray or equivalent may help.

"I fall down when I walk 5 km. I'm worried."

There are many reasons why you may be experiencing regular falls. Everything from general fitness to medical conditions such as muscle weakness and low blood pressure may be playing a roll. I would call NHS 111 or book an appointment to see a GP and describe your symptoms and circumstances to them. In the meantime, when out and about be sure to have a friend with you who can help either catch you as you fall or help get you back up if you do. Decluttering your room and/or home and getting non-slip mats in the bathroom may also help prevent falling at home.

"I am making a special dinner and one person coming is vegetarian. It is going to be a meat fest. What can I feed the veggie other than vegetables?"

There are tons of veggie options out there! Risotto, pasta, stir fry, quiches, curry or even a simple salad with breadsticks can make wonderful dinner options.

As a last personal note – for as long as people have questions for me, I'll keep answering them to the best of my ability! If you have something you want to ask, you can submit your anonymous questions here.

Furthermore, thank you to all the people who didn't submit questions, but instead submitted me lovely messages. I read and appreciated each and every one of them.

Good luck everyone, you have my love <3

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A strong brew of Earl Grey tea was consumed in the making of this article