Why clubbing is awesome

Here at the Tab, we’re tired of you looking down about your looming exams. You need to loosen up and go clubbing, according to BECCA LOWE and JAMIE McCULLY


Last week, Poppy told us all why she thought clubbing is wank. We’re here to tell you, in case you panicked, why clubbing is definitely OK, especially during exam time.

Unlimited sex

GoldRush2k14 is real, people! Not only should you finish your freshers’ year like you’d started it (maybe that was just us #ladz), but sex has many legit benefits. Statistics have shown that a healthy sex life alleviates stress, promotes brain activity and improves sleep patterns. Sexual arousal even releases a brain chemical that revs up your brain’s pleasure and reward system.

And you don’t have to be worried about the walk of shame/stride of pride (depending on how feminist you are) the next morning, because everybody will be in the library anyway!

What better way to revise for your oral?

Alcohol

You’ve worked hard all year to build a decent alcohol tolerance, so why ruin all that progress now? After exams, you’ll be wanting to go out and go hard, but nobody wants to be that guy who is vomming everywhere, weeping uncontrollably and put to bed by 10pm.

The odd drink and cheeky night out should do the trick to keep beer o’clock part of your revision schedule and avoid a trainwreck of the first post-exam lash.

Half a glass of wine in. Shambolic.

Truth

How many times have you heard ‘I have LITERALLY done nothing!’ these past few weeks? Durham is full of shit chat about revision, so why not have a refreshing night out when everybody is loose and the truth will out?

Emotional support will be at hand for those who need it in the smoking area, and who knows, you might find yourself arranging a revision date for the next day, making your night even more productive.

More likely, that drunken realisation that exams are ACTUALLY happening and cannot be avoided might spur you on to revise the following day.

‘Oh, shit. I’d forgotten about that module.’

Dancing

Come on, both you and I know that ‘Conceal, don’t feel’ is not the way to go.

You can dance. We know you can dance. So get on that dance floor and twerk those revision blues away. Just like sex dancing relieves stress, plus the exercise will help burn off all those late night revision trips to Urban Oven. Don’t deny yourself some fun; let your hair down and throw some shapes!

And besides, during the quiet exam period you’ll have more room to manoeuvre. Win win, really.

Let it go

Bed

Yes, a comfy bed is a must during exams and the prospect of staying in with Netflix can be so tempting. But just think, if you bump into a revision pal in Shack, their bed might be even cosier.

Group study sesh

On a sincere note, we wish you the best of luck during the exam period. We just care too much to see you all stressed out and gloomy.