36 Things You’ll Only Understand If You Go To Castle

Running to Klute, Hogwarts banter, and fanta in the Undie: 36 things you’ll only understand if you go to Castle

1. The awkward moment when someone from another college tells you they didn’t get in to Castle

Jo Butler

2. That panicked scan of the Great Hall when you walk into dinner on your own

3. That moment of pride when your friends from home ask for your uni address

4. When you applied you thought you’d be living here…

5. …only to realise you’d actually be living here

6. The carnage at 6.55pm before formal when they open the doors to the Great Hall

7. Shamelessly running to Klute to make free entry

8. Denting your pots and pans because you were hitting them too hard at matriculation

9. Teaching the college chants to freshers…

10. …Even though you inevitably end up singing ‘Angels’ at the end of every event

11. The tears you shed when you found out that Colin the porter was leaving

12. Realising you haven’t left the Castle walls in a week

13. That nightmare when you contract mumps and no one will sit with you at mealtimes…

14. …but it does mean you get to sleep in the suite designated for The Queen

15. When a photo of your ‘student living’ appears on Facebook

16. Ordering fanta in The Undie just because you can

17. When your friends from home actually believe that you have to wear nothing but a gown

18. …And tease you about being at Hogwarts

19. …although they’re not actually far from the truth

20. Going to Lloyds on your own because you know exactly where everyone will be

21. Attending JCR meetings just for the free pizza and soft drinks

22. The fact that the college dog gets its very own column in the weekly newsletter


23. Having to kick people off Palace Green because you want to play croquet

24. Other colleges’ interpretation of fancy dress…

25. Castle’s interpretation of fancy dress…

26. Explaining to your coursemates that it’s ‘The Undie’ not ‘Castle Bar’

27. The awkward moment when a fresher tries to get a seat on TFL

28. Tricking the pre-fresh into thinking High Table is more important than it is

“David Cameron came to formal last week”

29. Going home and expecting to be served a 3 course meal

30. When you’re striving for a 2:1 and your friends are winning Olympic medals

31. Having to celebrate on Minstrels because you didn’t get onto Christmas Superformal

32. That sudden panic when you realise they’re collecting meal tickets

…So you make sure you’re getting your £4.20’s worth

33. Being the only one prepared for working Bierfest

Warning: splash zone

34. Trying to justify why one night of your life is worth over £200

35. You’re not a true Castleman until you’ve smacked your head on that awkwardly tiny door

36. But hey, at least we’re better than Hatfield.