VOTE NOW: Best College chant

From the catchy to the ridiculous, The Tab has the shortlist.

Durham is rife with college chants, in which a particular college asserts themselves in a song-like utterance. To help you make an informed decision when voting for your favourite, the Tab have carefully analysed some of the best chants on the market at the moment.

Soundtrack for the queue

‘We shit on our own’

We shit on our own, we shit on our own, 

Butler College, we shit on our own’

This chant humorously makes reference to Josephine Butler College’s undesirable location. The monosyllabic repetition of ‘we shit on our own’ (l.1) is broken up by the assertion of ownership ‘Butler College’ within this creative chant, with the abbreviation of Josephine Butler College to ‘Butler College’ (l. 2) showing how the perpetrators of the chant aren’t afraid to bend a few rules.

Something to pass the time

‘Collingwood is wonderful’

 Oh Collingwood (Oh Collingwood)

Is Wonderful (Is Wonderful)

Oh Collingwood is Wonderful, 

It’s full of beer, tits and rugby.

Oh Collingwood is Wonderful.

The rule of three is evident in this chant, which serves to both reinforce the association between ‘Collingwood’ (l. 1) and the adjective ‘wonderful’ (l. 2), as well as to remind people exactly what it is that Collingwood has to offer, namely ‘beer, tits and rugby’ (l. 4) . The intesifying ‘full of’ (l. 4) further conveys that Collingwood does not only have these features, rather they are in abundance.

Looks pretty average to me

‘Shit on the buggers below’

If I had the wings of a swallow,

If I had the arse of a crow,

I’d fly over Hatfield college,

And shit on the buggers below

Shit on, shit on

Shit on the buggers below.

This subtle reflection of the Durham ‘Rah’ Stereotype carefully juxtaposes upper class lexicon with the chant’s vulgar sentiment, ironically reflecting how Durham students themselves can sometimes come across as genteel whilst being far from it. The description of a ‘swallow’ (l. 1) adds to this effect, creating beautifully vivid imagery in the first line to be sharply contrasted with the last few lines and the defecation which occurs upon the unsuspecting Hatfielders below.

Picking a target

‘The mighty Hatfield college…’

The mighty Hatfield college went to Rome to see the Pope,

The mighty Hatfield college went to Rome to see the Pope,

The mighty Hatfield college went to Rome to see the Pope,

And this is what he said…Fuck off

Continuing with the theme of Hatfield bashing, the anticipation of what happens when Hatfield go to Rome to see the Pope builds all the way through this chant, tantalising the listener. This drawn out section of the chant is then cleverly contrasted with the short and sharp answer ‘Fuck off’ (l. 4) (which is often expanded upon, but in this edition is rightfully left with the violent expletive), giving the reader no further explanation and leaving them to draw out their own meaning from the text.

Thanks but no thanks

‘I wanna be a castle ranger’

I wanna be a castle ranger (I wanna be a castle ranger)

I wanna live a life of danger (I wanna live a life of danger)

If I die in a rugby maul (If I die in a rugby maul)

Bury me with a rugby ball (Bury me with a rugby ball) 

Castle ranger (castle ranger)

Life of danger (life of danger)


The constant repetition within the chant reinforce the messages conveyed, whilst encouraging deeper processing of the language of the text. In addition, dropping the ‘t’ from ‘want to’ to form ‘wanna’ (l. 1, l. 2) allows the lyrics to flow more easily off the tongue, gallantly making light of the obviously dangerous lifestyle that is being described and thus mirroring the sentiment of the chant with the manner in which it is delivered.

Castleman’s attire

Now vote for your favourite:

Think we’ve missed any out? Comment below: