Housemates From Hell!

If you don’t think your housemates fit into these, you’re the one.


Many of you have now sorted your houses for next year, in which case, you’re fucked. For those of you still hunting, here is a Tab guide to some of the housemates you want to avoid!

1. The Smoker

They always say they’ll just do it outside, they always say they only do it socially, but as soon as winter sets in they’re putting condoms over smoke detectors and stinking out the whole house.

2. The Clean Freak

Though someone obsessed with cleanliness might be great for the first few weeks, it’s not so fun when they start raging about who left a crumb on the kitchen worktop.

3. The Party Animal

This housemate will cover the house in empty bottles of vodka, you’ll find their pills down the back of the sofa and more than likely they’ll throw up in every bathroom in your house after a “fucking sick night”. They were fun in freshers, but now?

4. The Scratter

They even use your bed

They scrounge everything. Shower gel, milk, butter, money for a night out. Everything! Beware the scratter.

5. The Prankster

You’re out of the house for one night and you come back to this:

Your room got hoffed

Or this:

Not ideal

6. The Naturist

They’re so comfortable in their own skin they have to let the whole world know. It’s lust a shame when your family come to visit, your poor nan won’t ever recover.

7. The Lazy One

They leave every light on all the time because they can’t be bothered to turn them off. They never wash up. They never clean. They’ll use the excuse that nothing matters because you’re ‘bills included’. All in all an incredibly lazy housemate is probably the worst of all.

You have been warned!