Which Winter Love Island contestant is your college?

Ollie is so obviously Trinity

#loveisland

For those still under the spell of Love Island this winter (despite the absence of Queen Maura), the show functions as the best possible distraction from supervision work. And now the time has finally come for the all-important question: which Winter Love Islander is your college?

Nas – Sidney Sussex

Nas is loveable but small, just like Sidney. He’s the core of the villa, and Sidney, neighbour to Mainsbury’s, is similarly central.

Jess – Newnham

Jess is a girl’s girl, and Newnham is, well, full of girls. She’s popular in the villa, and Newnham’s Iris Café makes it a popular spot amongst Cambridge students.

Eve – Lucy Cavendish

Eve is – or was, in her short-lived Love Island experience – also a girl’s girl. The guys just didn’t really vibe with her and that’s a bit like Lucy Cav (but let’s see what happens next year).

Sophie – Peterhouse

Peterhouse has been in Cambridge forever, and it seems as though Sophie is now permanently ingrained in the fabric of the Love Island villa. She's still clinging on, despite becoming increasingly irrelevant. Remind you of a certain college?

Luke M – Corpus Christi

Love Island’s Bieber doppelgänger definitely possesses a kind of Corpus-esque charm. Stand-out architecture, but not much else.

Luke T – Jesus

Ah, another ‘semi-pro footballer’. Jesus is a sporty college, so Luke T, with his football prowess, would fit right in. Right?

Rebecca – St. John’s

Rebecca walked into the villa knowing that she’d step on people’s toes. She knows she’s beautiful, and loves to tell people she was Miss Newcastle. She’s a self-confessed not-girl’s-girl, and John’s is just as smugly self-contained. John’s could easily trample all over Homerton, and Rebecca knows she can do the same to Siânnise. Oh wait, she already did.

Siânnise – Homerton

Siânnise Fudge is disconnected from viewers and has a strange name. Homerton is equally disconnected from the outside world and also has an odd name.

Callum – Fitz

Callum’s a big softie, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. Sure, he’s a scaffolder, but really Callum is just a puppy with freckles. That’s what Fitz students are like: soft inside even though they try to front like they're edgy and indifferent.

Leanne – Pembroke

Not a lot of people have a strong opinion on Pembroke – it’s central but not too touristy, beautiful but not conceited, wealthy but not John’s level wealthy. Leanne is equally unproblematic.

Mike – King’s

Mike knows he’s fit. King’s, with its similarly unflappable confidence, also knows it’s fit. Beneath the photogenic exterior, however, is Mike's snaky side: he would happily steal his mate's girl, just as King's would happily screw you over with a starter of mushy peas at a £25 formal.

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Who should Mike recouple with?

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Connor – Robinson

Connor’s comically white veneers are impossible to miss. So is Robinson’s dazzling red brickwork.

Connagh – Girton

Connagh had to commute from Cardiff to get to the Love Island villa, and Girtonians experience a similarly strenuous commute in their journey to Sidgwick.

Ollie – Trinity

Ollie wears (and Instagrams the shit out of) a signet ring, he loves a cheeky skiing trip, he regularly goes shooting, and he’s well endowed. Trinity is rich, ostentatious, and full of signet-ring-wearing, land-owning chaps who say ‘you love to see it’. The similarities between Ollie and Trinity are endless.

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Signet Ring has arrived. #robartes #quesupra

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Wallace – Selwyn

No one really knows much about Selwyn except for Snowball. The only thing we know about Wallace is that he’s Scottish. Apart from this, he’s just as enigmatic (and dull) as Selwyn.

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Ice Bar ❄️

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Finley – St. Catherine’s

Finley’s really cute and Catz definitely tops Tripos for cuteness. Catz students are pretty safe; you guys stay in the background, don’t cause drama and stay loyal. We like Catz. And we like Finley.

Paige – Queens'

Queens' students have solid chat, are friendly, and seem to spend more time in Cindies than in their own college. Paige also has great banter and is one of the most popular islanders this year. We imagine she’d be quite jokes on a Wednesday night out.

She's a queen.

Demi – Emma

Emma is definitely the Demi of Cambridge colleges. Cute, funny and wholesome, Emma students are the type of friends you didn’t think you could find in Cambridge. They’re the type to root for the beta male character and not just for fame. Nas, don’t screw this up.

Shaughna – Downing

Shaughna’s a big character in the Love Island villa and Downing students can be quite the BNOCs too. Democratic services officer = Downing HSPS student, right? Basically the same thing.

Featured image: ITV