News Column: Smelly Spaniels, CUSU Kings and German Phish

Read it to make sure it’s not about you…

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Another week has come and gone, and with it, you have undoubtedly wasted countless hours scrolling through Facebook in a desperate attempt to feel productive. Why not continue your feeble attempts by reading the best gossip of the week? 

Magdelene’s phishy situation 

Magdelene seems to have swam into a bit of a trouble, with lots of students receiving phone calls from a random German man asking for bank details. Students reportedly have no clue how this scam managed to get their details, but it is all a bit of a ‘cod’ situation.

It’s a GERMAN FISH! Geddit?

Churchill is #fakenews

Churchill have decided its students are obviously too influenced by #fakenews and are running a seminar on ‘Hot to spot fake news’. The Tab has no comment to make on this

Smell my Spaniel 

No this isn’t some sort of dirty pun. Tim Farron, whilst on the election campaign, came to Cambridge to support Lib Dem Candidate Julian Huppert. However, getting slightly enamoured by a beautiful dog in the audience, he invited the labradoodle (called Bonny) to ‘smell my spaniel, maybe’.

Let’s hope that the unusual election phrases continue – at least ‘smell my spaniel’ is better than ‘Brexit means Brexit’.

TFW the spaniel does not smell good

King of CUSU’s promo and jazz hands 

Amatey, who was running for Vice President of Higher Education and supporting new NUS President Shakira Martin in her race for the top spot, has taken self-promo to the next level. Obviously it worked, as Amatey himself was successfully elected Vice-President of Higher Education in the NUS.

This NUS election comes as a relief for many – this week the NUS was rocked by more controversy (honestly are we even surprised anymore) when it was revealed that three NUS candidates had made public anti-Semitic remarks in the past. Fortunately, none of them were elected – maybe this means we will have an NUS term without controversy?

Well, without major controversy. They have recently said people should use jazz hands rather than clapping at conferences, and want to ban ‘whooping’ and said that people who do so should face ‘consequences’, so it doesn’t seem to be getting any less bizarre.

Jazz hand reacts only

Queerbridge Queries 

Next up in  “how bitter can your anonymous Cambridge page get”, people have taken to new page ‘Queerbridge’ to tear into the CUSU LGBT+ team for the lack of ents. Guessing that this person is a first year and is probably in for a bit of a shock when they realise all the clubs close in exam term.

Cambridge reigns supreme in University standings 

What else did we expect? Once more Cambridge has taken the top spot, this time in the Complete University Guide Rankings, with an overall score of 1000 (two points ahead of that pesky O*ford).

If you have any gossip, sent it to [email protected] or message the Facebook page!