Clubbers of the Week

No one is safe


The trusty elves at The Tab Cambridge have trawled through the depths of Facey-B so you don’t have to: we’ve left no stone unturned, and have found you the few who have sacrificed their supervision essays, better judgement, but most of all dignity, all in the name of Life. 

Without further ado,  here are your stunners, good-dressers and and most cringe-worthy moments of the Cam clubbing scene this week.

Stunners of the week:

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Squad, get into formation

Well done to this cute trio: squad leaders everywhere take note about the hair-colour gradient formation . The Tab is willing to offer a consolation prize to the disaffected girl in the back, but be warned, awkward spillage incidents WILL NOT GET YOU INTO THE SQUAD. That is all.

Runners up:

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Hold my VKs I’m getting a photo

The top prize is reserved for those who can muster at least a small morsel of sobriety for the microsecond it takes to get a photo.

Lads of the Week:

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Go on a swap with us, pls

It takes a special type of lad to fully devote themselves to the lad-hood. Just double check before you’re ordained into your drinking society that Deliveroo will bring your cheeky Nandos all the way to the Monastery #banterbus

Best Dressed:

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Welcome to the pleasure dome

Well done to Mr Tumnus/Jesus man. You have every reason to be so elated: you stole the show at ARCSOC Cabaret this week with your effortlessly casual toga and your biblical charm.

Jesus never parties alone. Let us introduce you to his disciples:

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I’d visit your pleasure dome any day

Cringe of the Week:

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Love is in the air

This unfortunate student may have floundered in his quest for Cantabae this week, but at least we now know what a real life reenactment of Pac-Man might look like (potential production for Easter, any thesps interested?).

Runners up:

So much fail to constrain to just one category, but we’ll try.

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VK showers for the 4-for-£10 hedonist

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What wonderful balloons you have there

Clubbing enthusiast of the Week:

We Fez because we fear, we hit Life out of strife, and we Cindies because we love. Here’s to the few that pour their soul into their raves:

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Unbridled glee in the pleasure dome

Runners up:

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No emoji does him justice

Townie of the Week:

It’s their city too, you know! Townies remind us that clubbing won’t just be a mere distraction from your example papers in the future, but from the toil of working life and the incrementally nearer gravestone awaiting us all. Stay cheery by reading The Tab.

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Kim K is that you?

Runners up:

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Cheeky

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For my next trick, I will make an overpriced Vodka shot appear

It’s a NO from Us:

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Is that a hickey?

This little ensemble here almost qualified for Lads of the Week, before we realised they were about to sit their GCSE mocks:

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My ID? Look at all my facial fluff

And finally, Clubbers of the Week goes to:

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You’ve been a naughty boy

Congratulations to this daring duo. These two have passed through the darkest depths of the pleasure dome, and have emerged the other side with a penchant for a new risqué hobby.

That’s all for this week, folks. Could YOU be featured next week? 

Photo Credits: Tom Davidson and Nicole Ng  (ARCSOC Cabaret); STAG Vision (RUMBOOGIE! at Ballare); Nadderz Photography (Sunday Life).