Which Shakespeare character is your college?
31 colleges, all alike in dignity, in fair Cambridge where we lay our scene.
Christ’s – Paris from Romeo and Juliet
An aristocrat who is utterly confident in his own appeal as well as an all round decent fellow, we still can’t figure out why Juliet chose Romeo.
Churchill – Malvolio from Twelfth Night
Grumpily watching others having fun from the hills, these science students have no time for such frivolity as fun. Like Malvolio, they also tend to have a minor episode in response to attention from the opposite sex.
Clare – Viola from Twelfth Night
Like Viola, Clare has a reputation for being clever, likeable and going its own way. The students also share her flair for thespian activities (and who knows, maybe some cross-dressing too?).
Clare Hall – Peaseblossom from A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Small and really just there to do the bidding of other bigger colleges. Like a fairy itself, it’s bloody hard to find.
Corpus Christi – Demetrius from A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Thinks itself to be one of the best colleges around and doesn’t understand why students aren’t falling over themselves to get in. Much more charming once they’ve had some ‘potion’ to drink.
Darwin – Jaques from As You Like It
These hardened postgrads have seen the world and they know it’s rubbish. Their cynicism may seem off-putting to the wide-eyed undergraduate, but, like Jaques, they really couldn’t care less.
Downing – Lady Macbeth from Macbeth
‘Look like the innocent flower but be the serpent under it’ sums up Downing. Sure it seems pretty and harmless enough, but never forget that this was the college that spawned Nick Griffin.
Emmanuel – Michael Cassio from Othello
Cassio has a reputation for being a great thinker, like the students of Emmanuel, not a fighter. While Emma is widely liked, they are certainly capable of invoking jealousy, albeit usually with less murderous results.
Fitzwilliam – Perdita from The Winter’s Tale
Abandoned by civilised society and lost amongst the hills, the only difference between the two is that Perdita is described as a beauty.
Girton – Caliban from The Tempest
Isolated in a sea of loneliness, desperate for companionship and generally treated like rubbish by the rest of the population, Girton and Caliban have a lot in common and probably see the same counsellor.
Gonville and Caius – Shylock from The Merchant of Venice
Tough as nails, this college is always determined to get their pound of flesh out of their students, be it through making them go to formal as much as possible or their fiendishly high rents.
Homerton – Lucentio from The Taming of the Shrew
Lucentio combines Homerton’s two greatest exports, teachers and thesps. While he may seem a bit pathetic at times, he knows that he’ll come out on top eventually and win the love of Bianca/the respect of other colleges.
Hughes Hall – King Duncan from Macbeth
Wise and venerable, these elders lord over us younglings from their distant college but are probably going to die sooner than the rest of us…
Jesus – Antony from Antony and Cleopatra
Students at Jesus think they’re god’s gift to the world (no pun intended). Whilst those foreign to the Cambridge world (much like Cleopatra herself) think they are great, those of us inside the bubble can’t wait for them to move on over.
King’s – Hamlet from Hamlet
Like a certain Danish prince we could mention, King’s must be the centre of attention at all times and think they have been marked out for some special mission. What the two have most in common is that everyone else thinks they’re delusional.
Lucy Cavendish – The Abbess from A Comedy of Errors
The sage mother figure of the colleges, much like the Abbess, Lucy Cav tends to stay firmly out of the madness of the other colleges while quietly taking care of business on her own.
Magdalene – Ophelia from Hamlet
There’s nobody more maudlin than Ophelia (see what we did there?) and the colleges’ ample gardens and river access give plenty of opportunity for flower picking and extended swims.
Murray Edwards – Juliet from Romeo and Juliet
Although often quoted as a true feminist challenging social, patriarchal norms, she’s actually quite annoying. The location of Medwards makes them just as isolated from real life as Juliet, and we wont even mention the rivalry of the two Cambridge papers, I mean, two shakespearian families…
Newnham – The Witches from Macbeth
Like the witches in Macbeth, this coven sticks together and terrifies a quite a few silly men. Don’t worry ladies, they’ll realise how right you were eventually.
Pembroke – Falstaff from Henry IV
This merry character would be right at home in one of Pembroke’s famous formals, being the life and soul of the party. But like Pembroke, he has surprising depth and dramatic potential lurking deep below in the cellars.
Peterhouse – King Lear from King Lear
Old, decrepit and demanding of adoration from all around them, both are ancient and ever so slightly out of touch. You do feel a bit sorry for them though, bless ’em.
Queen’s – Titania from A Midsummer Night’s Dream
The ultimate queen herself ruling proudly over her wooden-bridged kingdom, she’s enchanting to all who look upon her.
Robinson – Macduff from Macbeth
With an appearance that could not have been of woman born (seriously guys, you’re into bricks, we get it), Robinson can often seem unimportant compared to the violent and more prominent other colleges. But like Macduff they come back to haunt us as they creep their steady way up the Tompkins Table.
St Catharine’s – Tybalt from Romeo and Juliet
Repeatedly referred to as the ‘Good King of Cats’ throughout the play, it only makes sense for fiery and feline Tybalt to return to rule over his ancestral kingdom.
St Edmund’s – The Bear from A Winter’s Tale
Interesting bit of trivia to know for a pub quiz, but no one is quite sure what it’s there for.
St John’s – Richard III from Richard III
Like Richard III, Johnians have the reputation for being royal, mateless and well…total dicks. But who knows, maybe it’s all just Tudor propaganda!
Selwyn – Marina from Pericles
Strategically close to the UL and Sidgwick site, this lot could definitely walk into a brothel and come out having educated the patrons on morality.
Sidney Sussex – Goneril from King Lear
Hoarding supplies from the nearby Sainsbury’s, the greed of Sidney knows no bounds. Conveniently placed to expand their territory into Marks and Spencer, who knows when these power mad tyrants will stop?
Trinity Hall – Rosaline from Romeo and Juliet
Very pretty and lovely until you notice their attractive cousin Trinity next door, then you forget them entirely.
Wolfson – Brabantio from Othello
The over-protective father figure, they mean very well but it’s a bit hard to try and find someone to make ‘the beast with two backs’ with while they’re lurking behind you in Cindies.
Trinity – Bottom from A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Arrogant and arsey, this lot might be top of the Tompkins table but they’re definitely Bottom in our book.