Week 3: Why I am supporting Kanye in his 2020 presidential bid

I can’t wait for his sensible health care reforms.

kanye west

If you missed what was arguably the biggest announcement of the century, Kanye West is running for president of the U.S of A in 2020.

“That’s a terrible idea!” I hear you cry…

“Kanye is nothing more than a rapper and self-publicist!” Incorrect.

“Kim Kardashian should not be First Lady of the United States.” I firmly disagree.

After a brief perusal into the self-confessed deity’s twitter and interview history, I have compiled the evidence to show you that Kanye has the vision. Not only will quoting these snippets of divine wisdom be sure to entertain and amaze all those around you, but they will give you the insight required into the mechanisms of our hero’s brain.

Sensible fiscal policy? Check. Interest into the issues that really matter? Of course. The motivation and drive required to be leader of the free world? Look no further than Mr. West.

Rapping about maintaining good trading relationships with China

‘People ask me a lot about my drive. I think it comes from, like, having a sexual addiction at a really young age. Look at the drive that people have to get sex – to dress like this and get a haircut and be in the club in the freezing cold at 3.00 am, the places they go to pick up a girl. If you can focus the energy into something valuable, put that into work ethic.’

I don’t know about you, but I find a certain level of comfort in knowing that Kanye is motivated in all facets of his life. Surely this will be transferable to implementing all those sensible fiscal policy reforms!

‘Visiting my mind is like visiting the Hermès factory. Shit is real.’

That’s good, because his direct insight into the Hermés factory will undoubtedly serve him well when it comes to regulating the luxury retail industry. I trust Kanye. I know he will do a good job.

‘I feel like I’m too busy writing history to read it.’

I think Churchill said something similar. The leader of the free world doesn’t really need to know much about the past. I trust a man who is confident enough in himself not to bother with silly things like literature and history. Presumably he hasn’t read the Wealth of Nations either. He’ll be fine.

Celebrating the momentous announcement with the man himself

‘I believe that bad taste is vulgar. It’s like cursing. I think the world can be saved through design, because what is the most distasteful thing someone can do? Kill someone. So, good taste is the opposite of that.’

I think we can reasonably expect a massive drive from Kanye into working with the federal governments to abandon the death penalty once and for all, cos that shit’s just in bad taste, ya know? Thanks Kanye.

‘For me, first of all, dopeness is what I like the most. Dopeness. People who want to make things as dope as possible, and, by default, make money from it.’

“Shit Merkel, that austerity package you’ve designed to pull Greece out of recession and hopefully reboot the struggling economies of Europe is so. fucking. dope.”

Kanye knows how to prioritise. How is he gonna provide sensible regulation for the US’s agriculture economy with all those fucking water bottles on his hands?? Not easily, that’s how.

‘I’m the closest that hip-hop is getting to God. In some situations I’m like a ghetto Pope.’

It’s important for the President of the United States to maintain good relations with important religious institutions. Kanye is evidently in touch with his inner head-of-the-catholic-church. We can learn so much from him.

“When someone comes up and says something like, ‘I am a god,’ everybody says ‘Who does he think he is?’ I just told you who I thought I was. A god. I just told you.”
I respect Kanye for his straight talking. He’s gonna work really well with the press, there are no smoke and mirrors here.

‘Oh my God, I’m one of the greatest rappers in the world.’
And soon to be president! Amirite? I’m not wrong.

God Bless you Mr. West.