BREAKING POINT: Robinson College is falling apart

Robinson has been plunged into crisis after a week of disrepair and laundry woe pushes students to the edge.

Cambridge University crisis Robinson Robinson College

On top of multiple reports of breakages, students at Robinson College have this week been hung out to dry as they are banned from using their laundry room for several days due to maintenance problems.


After a traumatic week at the college, The Tab can exclusively reveal that:

  • The college tumble driers have been declared “out of action” since the 14th of October.
  • The College has issued several emails reminding students they are not allowed to dry wet clothes in their rooms.
  • The college maintenance department has stated students must “hold off from doing their laundry” until the issues are resolved.
  • Several students have informed The Tab of a plethora of other  breakages, including faulty light bulbs, hobs and showers.
  • Olivia Collin, a second year historian, claims to have filed three maintenance reports in the last week.
  • Sources in the college report “wifi problems” and an atmosphere of rebellion, with one student telling The Tab they are forced to wonder “what am I spending my nine grand a year on?”.
  • Students also claim the college dishwasher also broke earlier this week, forcing them to eat with plastic utensils.

A very spinister tale

The College insists these disruptions are only temporary, and expects a return to usual service in the next few days.

But such failures have clearly had a detrimental effect on student’s wellbeing, with Gabrielle McGuiness, a second year, telling The Tab: “my life has become a misery. No longer can I cook pasta pesto when the hob doesn’t work.

“I’m running low on socks so I’m facing a few weeks of smelly feet.”

Even the Robinson Student Association President, James Clarke, has nobly suffered along with his subjects, telling us he hasn’t “washed [his] Tux in weeks.”

Desperation has forced some to a life of crime


Nonetheless, in a statement to The Tab he put a positive spin on events, saying “nobody really uses the driers anyway”.

Whether or not this is just hot air, Robinson is clearly in the midst of crisis – one which The Tab hopes will be resolved soon.