Luke Heppenstall-West

Former Cambridge Editor

Luke Heppenstall-West
Cambridge University


The Tab's journalism is brought to you by young reporters who like being first. On university campuses, our writers deliver local news you care about. At The Tab HQ, our experienced journalists write about everything from breaking news to politics to pop culture to TikTok trends to the latest entertainment and celeb gossip. Our aim is to deliver sharp, original, and agenda-setting journalism to young people. All our stories are fact checked and sources verified. Further information on our editorial policies and processes can be found here.


Now we can finally, definitively reveal THE best bench in Cambridge

If you aren’t excited you should be

Don’t worry, this article isn’t going to be about anxiety

Because that would be boring and self-involved, two things I definitely am not

Meet the Jailbreak 2017 teams (and bet on them too!)

You can win a Garden Party ticket and the money goes to charity

QUIZ: Should you join the Union?

Aye or nay?!

So you’re at Cambridge. The question is, are you the Second Coming?

You’ve always wondered.

The Grantchester Meadows: the new garden party hotspot?

In Pictures: ChariTea Garden Party 2016

Tuition Fees are so progressive we should start charging 11 Year Olds to go to school

It’s only fair

Dear Cambridge: Don’t leave the NUS, it’s a magnificent institution

Remember everything it’s achieved

Cambridge’s Best Benches: Part 3(a)

All you need to know about Cambridge’s Benches

How to become a BNOC

This is 100% pure spite.

QUIZ: How far can you get in RAG Jailbreak 2016?

Tab tries: video games

BREAK-IN NEWS: Darwin College assailed by suicidal Guineafowl

The pheasants are revoluting

REVIEW: CUADC/Footlights Panto – Robin Hood

LUKE HEPPENSTALL-WEST is sickeningly positive about a show that blew him away despite being totally extravagent

Queens’ JCR President announces Bops return with a YouTube Christmas poem

College authorities succumb to the people’s demand for glorified, semi-ironic organised fun


Tab Guide to becoming Editor-in-Chief of The Tab

Facebook stickers are the death of comedy

It’s Week 5 and everything is terrible and we are terrible.

RED SURGE: 12x more Freshers than ever join Cambridge Universities Labour Club

They’ve almost quadrupled in size in just 2 weeks

BREAKING POINT: Robinson College is falling apart

Robinson has been plunged into crisis after a week of disrepair and laundry woe pushes students to the edge.

Director Baz Luhrmann to speak at the Cambridge Union

He’s coming on Friday 23rd October

Meet your columnists for Michaelmas 2015

First up against the wall when the revolution comes

Cambridge University want to reintroduce the entrance exam

It was so easy to get in before

‘Snobby’ Cambridge raised homeless fresher Jacob Lewis’ entry requirements

“When I realised I might have got into Cambridge I thought: ‘It’s either the home or the college work.’ I chose the work.”

Homeless first year inspires desperate Oxbridge hopefuls like him

He’s overcome all the odds

Tab Guide: How to tell people you go to Cambridge

“What university do you go to?” is possibly the most stressful question a Cambridge student can be asked.

Congratulations on getting into Cambridge

Read this if you got in

Right, ‘m9’ was fun but seriously let’s stop now

This is the most important thing you’ll ever read m10

Watery apocalypse plunges Cambridge into Dark Ages

It was a bastion of modernity before

REVIEW: Peterhouse May Ball

A unique and personal night of luxury and sensual enjoyment, apparently

The Varsity Ski Trip have fired a toy rodent into space

They filmed it too

Someone’s made a short film set in Cindies and it’s brilliant

Give it a watch

REVIEW: King’s Affair

LUKE HEPPENSTALL-WEST thoroughly enjoyed pretending to be one of the kids who were too cool to hang out with him in school

REVIEW: Queens’ May Ball

WILL HEILPERN is impressed by the “Museum of Curiosity”

REVIEW: ChariTea Garden Party

LUKE HEPPENSTALL-WEST is suitably impressed by this year’s charity June Event

Tab Meets: Dirty Blonde

Coming to a May Ball near you

Join The Tab team

You totally should. All the cool kids are doing it.

Emmanuel Postgrad launches a unique social media app for LGBT+ users

It’s not another Grindr

Stephen Fry is in town – Where will he go?

No, there isn’t a poll

Tab Guide to Exam-term jogging

How bored are you right now?

Honestly. You can tell us.

Red-faced Wyverns explain themselves over sexism scandal

Apparently it’s just optional, harmless fun

David and Victoria Beckham seen punting in Cambridge

It caused quite a splash

Dear Cambridge: An open letter from Cambridge for Consent

Problems with consent will be with us for a long time. Let’s do what we can to challenge them.

The end of an era: Julian Huppert ships out

A tragedy for beard lovers and people whose favourite colour is orangey-yellow everywhere

The Cambridge Tab’s Guide to Drugs

Video: It’s not easy being a lad

Footlighter and Rice Enthusiast ADRIAN GRAY returns to our screens with a tale from the troubled heart of lad culture.

Robinson May Ball headliners announced

If you’ve got a ticket you’re in for a treat.

Labour candidate pledges “zero tolerance” on sexual harassment

He wants to make the city safer

Tit Hall bar has been flooded with sewage

It’s causing quite a shitstorm

They’re actually putting Dolphins in the Cam and letting us swim with them

It will be somefin to look forward to

The Pitt Club Website has been hacked

Mummy won’t be pleased

Free the nipple: feminism or clickbait?

LUKE HEPPENSTALL-WEST explains the issue with Free the Nipple – in spite of its good intentions.

This unacceptable oppression of men must end now

I demand the male papilla be sexualised

John’s College built on ancient burial ground

There always was something sinister about that place

Exclusive: Gardies employee arrested in relation to sexual harrassment allegations

He is currently on police bail

In defence of: Staying in Cambridge over Easter

ALFIE PARKER tells us why staying behind is the way forward

Cambridge named Britain’s ‘most reputable’ Uni

It’s all about the gowns…

Tab Meets: Cambridge’s first all-male netball team

Brave brave men

The best kitsch in Cambridge

You looking for kitsch my precious?

Tab Live Blogs: RAG Jailbreak 2015

It’s all go for our jailbreakers – follow live updates for all the latest goings-on. It’s getting interesting…

Review: Tate Cambridge

Brought to you by The Tab, not anyone else.

The Cambridge Effect: Uni is twisting the core of your being

It’s turning us into monsters!

13 things only Part 2B Biological Anthropologists understand

Oh the banter-thrapology

Cambridge according tu’ northerners

See what we did there?

A day in the life of: The Green society

It ain’t easy…

Preview: Tate Cambridge

Art for art’s sake

Which cheese is your college?

The joke is getting cheesy now…

A day in the life of: The Labour Club

Who knew student politics could be so fun?…..

I’m depressed and no-one knows

“I didn’t do anything about it for two years. I felt I had no right to be depressed”

Ode to: Cindies

Ever been to Cindies and thought ‘this place deserves a poem?’ We did

Preview: Queens’ Arts Fest – “Think Different. Bodies.”

Let the bodies hit the floor…

Cambridge RAG Jailbreak: Top tips

Tonight there’s gunna be a Jailbreak, at Parker’s Piece…

How to get featured on ‘Students of Cambridge’

Are you a student? Do you go to Cambridge?

Tab Tries: Mixed netball as a guy

Put the ball in the net. How hard can it be?

WANTED: Cambridge’s new best bench

Students of Cambridge, The Tab needs you…

An ode to my bike

So many puns…

How to survive a supervision hungover

Don’t you love a bit of academia after a night out?

Dealing with stress the Cambridge way

Cambridge ain’t all bad

Tab Meets: John Cooper Clarke

A genuinely lovely man

RAG Come Dine With Me: Which course is your college?

“Like Blind Date but less awkward, and in a team”

Living below the line: My week in food poverty

This is actually genuinely quite impressive

Why you should (really) learn a language

This is absolutely not a wanky article…

Tab Guide to making small talk with your hairdresser

HARRIET HALL gives sage advice about surviving your trip for a trim.

Tabony Aunt: Valentine’s Day edition

THE TAB hears all of your relationship woes and gives helpful advice

What kind of date is your college?

Yep, it’s fucking Valentine’s Day today

Tab Lonely Hearts Round 2

Why my first term sucked and why my second didn’t – This Space

Confessions of a pushy guy

Why we actually do need consent workshops, and why we need them to be good.

Cambridge’s best toilets: Part 1

No but really

I’m from ARU and you Cambridge students are shit at dating

FRANCESCA WOOD tells us what we all already knew, deep down

Cambridge’s best bench DISAPPEARS

FRANCESCA WOOD is the bearer of terrible news

Valentine’s Day: The singleton’s nightmare

Love is the worst.

Cambridge according to international students

You’re not the only ones

Fit College Snowman: VOTE NOW

The sexiest snowfolk in Cambridge: VOTE NOW

Tab Guide to getting smashed on the cheap

Get smashed in style

Enter the Vortex: An interview with the Dive Committee

We dive into the depths of Dive, a techno night coming to a King’s Bunker near you

The Van of Death: a journey into the afterlife

With a side of ketchup.

Downing Ball Launch Review


Tab Justifies: Being a Land Economist

Revealed, yah

Reclaiming ‘health’ from ‘health service’ – This Space

What does health actually mean?

Tabony Aunt: Issue the First

Think you’ve got problems?

The Van of Life: A Life Story