Boobs, business and the Beatles: Paul McCartney’s controversy-loving ex-wife tells Union she is superhuman

Isn’t she the ex-wife of that Beatle? Oh and she hates fur or something?

The Tab went to find out more about the first of two affiliates of The Beatles speaking in Cambridge this term, and boy did we find out.

The entrepreneur, environmental activist and charity-worker revealed her new goal is to become the oldest disabled women to win a medal in skiing.

Speaking to The Tab, Mills said “what I do now [every fortnight] is I ski train for a week… Then I work intensely for a week… so I plan to be the oldest person at fifty to win a medal in Korea in skiing to inspire other people with disabilities to go on and do it”, a pretty impressive feat for anybody. But she also added a second ambition to get “skeleton in [Korea] as a disabled sport and challenging people’s perception on everything”.

This face knows….

She first spoke quite candidly the turbulent home life she experienced under an abusive father and absent mother, until she ran away from home to “join the fair” while still at school. After making a small fortune selling stick-on bras, and a short-lived stint in a croissant shop she promised herself she’d “never work for anyone again”, and has not done so since. It was also at this point she admitted to having her boobs reduced so she could play sports easier due to her “enormous boobs like Dolly Parton”.

Damn I look good

Never one to shy from controversy, Mills admitted that “controversy is my middle name” however added that if you want to “speak the truth… It puts people’s backs up”. Urging the audience not to “be like Mr and Mrs Switzerland”, the 47 year old showed video messages from her pals Hilary Clinton and Richard Branson congratulating her on her humanitarian efforts.

Despite her long background in charity work, Heather Mills is equally as famous for her marriage, and divorce, with Paul McCartney. The advice to the audience was to “never marry anyone famous because everything you’ve ever done is forgotten”. Once she had “married an icon” the press went for her, and she explained the ‘McCartney years’ had her in the newspapers almost daily, but never in a negative light.

But not surprisingly, her main topic of conversation was inspiration, how to tell the truth and help the world, rather than her ex husband, as she proposed to one member of the audience “how would you like to be forever labelled with your ex boyfriend from when you were 15”.

Throughout the talk, the Union library was full of inspirational quotes – the kind you get set to a picture of the countryside found on tumbler, posted by year sevens after the breakup of their two-week-old relationship.

Ben Brown draws Heather

“Always think outside the box” was one of many themes used by Mills to make her mark on the world, along with “to make a difference you [have to] put people out” because “the truth puts people’s backs up”. Although, when these words come from Heather, they seemed genuine, especially to the crowd of people queuing up after the talk to ask her more abut how they could be more like her.

So the lesson is this; Heather Mills has saved refugees in former Yugoslavia, collected prosthetic legs for war victims, helped to abolish 29,000,000 square miles of land mines, launched a global vegan food business, married a rockstar, and brought up a daughter while you’re sitting here surfing the Internet when you know you should be studying.

Get back to the library!