Confessions of a submissive feminist
I’m sick of being told by women that I can’t be told what to do by men.
Scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, I see status upon status of passionate women slandering their misogynistic supervisors; promoting events claimed to empower; hanging the non-thoroughbred feminists out to dry.
While I vouched never to take on the Intimidators of the highly exclusive Cambridge Feminist Club for fear of being eaten alive, I can’t help but wonder what they have to say about the (probably-hiding-in-a-corner-silently-masturbating-to-BDSM-porn) female species who actually enjoy their so-called gender stereotype, particularly in the bedroom.
I admit it. I like how emotionally sensitive I am, I love feeling protected by my boyfriend, I hugely benefit from the multi-talented excuse of “I’m on my period”. But most of all, I absolutely adore submitting to the opposite sex.
Since an age younger than I care to admit, I was intrigued by the art of sexual domination. Spanking, Bondage, Suspension; you name it, I was fascinated.
It started with erotic cartoons, then I moved on to animations, and finally I made my most liberating discovery: the beautiful world of pornography. At last I could try to dent my insatiable thirst for male-on-female domination.
Yet, in recent times, porn has been subject to an onslaught of attacks from feminists around the world. Type into the Google search bar the words “pornography” and “feminism” and you will be greeted with 1,730,000 results.
I click on the first article that comes up and I’m told that porn should present women as “sexual collaborators” with men, rather than the “sexual conquests” of men.
Hmm… if I’m scrolling through Pornhub at 3am as a well-deserved reward for reading 5 whole pages for my supervision, “Couple Engaging in Egalitarian Sexual Collaboration” doesn’t quite cut it.
Frankly, if it doesn’t have the words “slave”, “forced” or “humiliation” in its title, it doesn’t get me going. Porn only caters to the fantasies of men, you say?
So, Feminists of Cambridge, answer me this: can I still join your club? Can my male counter-part call himself a feminist?
The modern test for how-to-qualify-as-a-feminist has been described as an effective gagging device… perhaps I can put my feminist sash to better use.