Roof or Dare

The good people of King’s have been scolded for roaming the roofs of Cambridge, sending college authorities into a flap.

College Lay Dean, John Barber, has warned students to lay off the roof, expressing his concern with the climbers’ risky antics: “Besides being strictly against College rules, I cannot emphasise too much that climbing on roofs is extremely dangerous…

King’s turreted roofs provide the ultimate obstacle course

“There will be serious consequences for anyone who tampers with window locks or is found to have been on a College roof.”

Reaction within the college has been mixed.

Speaking to The Tab, a 2nd year Economist, said “I don’t think it was that dramatic.”

A jaded, but dashing, 3rd year anthropologist added, “There’s a dead pigeon on my roof. I don’t know why I’d go up there.

“Although, it’s probably the only place I can cry freely.”

Freshers, however, were more curious.

One HSPS student exclaimed, “I want to go on the roof! But I don’t know how to get there!”

Another fresher appeared more savvy: “Screw it! I thought they’d never know.

“Our rather public discussion on window dismantling tactics appears to have been a spanner move.

“Now our plans have become unhinged.”

She sighed and after a moment, added, “There goes our alfresco cocktail party.”

No more screwdrivers for you then

All sources have been kept anonymous to protect their identity – we wouldn’t want them to get deaned would we?