Tab Tries: One Night Stand

CHARLIE DOWELL reveals all in his guide to getting the most out of your one night stand.

bins charlie dowell fountain humour joke King's Life Night night stand one phone booth punt Sex shed stands Trinity union debate

I have friends who are always bragging about their one night stand. “Oh, we were in the restricted section of the library,” they say, or “You know that tree outside King’s? Yeah. There.”

But these are cliché places to have it. I was sure I could be more imaginative and so I decided to do the rational thing: take a picture of my one night stand at all the places you really should be aiming for.

With this handy guide you’ll never feel dissatisfied by only having one night stand again.

Outside your front door- you randy so and so couldn’t even wait to be in the warmth of your bedroom (also is a good tactic if you don’t want to play host for the evening)

Outside your front door: for those who can’t wait to be in the warmth of the bedroom

In a phone box- the red colour is sensual, the smell of a tramp’s piss evocative and the chance to call your parents while you’re at it, 30p a minute.

In a phone box: the red colour is sensual, the smell of a tramp’s piss evocative and you’ve the chance to call your parents while in there, 30p a minute

Great Court Fountain- if you’ve snared someone from Trinity, do not pass on the opportunity to get wet in front of the world’s angriest porters.

Great Court Fountain: if you’ve snared one from Trinity, do not pass on the opportunity to get wet in front of the world’s angriest porters

Outside Kings- imagine you’re a socialist fucking over fascist scum, then take a selfie in front of one of our nation’s famous landmarks.

Outside Kings: imagine you’re a socialist fucking over fascist scum, then take a selfie in front of one of our nation’s famous landmarks

Outside The Corpus Clock- time waits for no man and neither should sex. You could see if you can come as the bells chime.

Outside The Corpus Clock: you could see if you can come here as the bells chime

The bins outside Life: for those of you who want to get really dirty

The bins outside Life: for those of you who want to get really dirty

The Union Debating Chamber: the rich smell of leather, the lingering scent of Russell Brand’s, what could be better?

The Union Debating Chamber: the rich smell of leather, the lingering scent of Russell Brand, what could be better?

On a Punt- the word sounds naughty. Make her shudder more at Scudamore’s.

On a Punt: the word sounds naughty. Shudder more at Scudamore’s

Be adventurous. I was. Just keep it clean, folks.