I have friends who are always bragging about their one night stand. “Oh, we were in the restricted section of the library,” they say, or “You know that tree outside King’s? Yeah. There.”
But these are cliché places to have it. I was sure I could be more imaginative and so I decided to do the rational thing: take a picture of my one night stand at all the places you really should be aiming for.
With this handy guide you’ll never feel dissatisfied by only having one night stand again.
Outside your front door: for those who can’t wait to be in the warmth of the bedroom
In a phone box: the red colour is sensual, the smell of a tramp’s piss evocative and you’ve the chance to call your parents while in there, 30p a minute
Great Court Fountain: if you’ve snared one from Trinity, do not pass on the opportunity to get wet in front of the world’s angriest porters
Outside Kings: imagine you’re a socialist fucking over fascist scum, then take a selfie in front of one of our nation’s famous landmarks
Outside The Corpus Clock: you could see if you can come here as the bells chime
The bins outside Life: for those of you who want to get really dirty
The Union Debating Chamber: the rich smell of leather, the lingering scent of Russell Brand, what could be better?
On a Punt: the word sounds naughty. Shudder more at Scudamore’s