Tab Blind Date: Evie and Gabriel

Love doesn’t care about exam term and neither do we. Find out whether our first couple blossomed or broke…

12a a great evie-ning alimentum blind date cupid date date me and rate me don't hate or berate me Evie Gabriel I am matchmaking queen hear me roar I want to punch gabriel jewish mother let's get it on Tab three's not a crowd according to gabriel ladladlad threesomes you and me baby ain't nothing but mammals

This week, The Tab played Cupid for the first time.

Out of the tens of applications we received, we chose Evie and Gabriel to enjoy a date at the Michelin starred restaurant Alimentum. Sadly, this did not go exactly to plan…but we all know that trauma and miscommunication make the heart grow fonder. Read about their exploits below, and do apply if you fancy your own chances at tabloid love.

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Evie is a third year Philosophy student at Clare who once asked an ex if he knew himself, because she recognised his shirt but not his face.

evie prichardPreconceptions? 

I assumed The Tab would set me up with the strangest applicant they could find.

First impressions?

Gabriel’s outfit wasn’t best chosen to make a good first impression. In red trousers, a pink shirt and a burgundy blazer he looked like the sort of person Vice might write a cutting caption about in an exposé of Suicide Sunday. It turned out he just hadn’t done his laundry, though, so I forgave him.

What did you talk about?                                                                 

Mainly sex, oddly. We spent most of the night trying to outdo one another’s risqué stories. Gabriel won with a great one about confusing the (straight) male and female participants in a threesome.

Were you on form?

Apparently I was quite guarded at first, but the drinks definitely helped.

Best thing about your date?

The cocktails at 12a, which I’d never visited in my 3 years here. And meeting Gabriel, of course.

Worst thing about your date? 

Being shown the opening frame of a home-made sex tape on his phone. Before dinner. I’d call myself a liberated modern woman – I never have, but I could – but this was definitely the shortest time I’ve ever gone between meeting a person and seeing them penetrate someone.

Could he meet your parents? 

As long as he promised to keep the amateur porn to himself.

Marks out of 10?     

8 (two marks deducted for obscenity).

Are you going to meet again?

Yes, we’re redeeming our meal at Alimentum next week.

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gabriel2Gabriel is a first year Music student at Fitz. “Some people see him as a ladies man… really he’s just a lady man” – generic Fitz cafe dweller.

Preconceptions?

Excited. It’s nice to have dinner with someone entirely new –  I never get the chance to spend much time just getting to know someone. Fortunately her company was a delight.

First impressions?

Feisty. Kicked up a real fuss when we were ‘too late’ for our free Michelin-star meal. Got a couple of drinks free and potentially the meal at a later date as the result of her stubbornness and flare. She’d make an excellent Jewish mother.

What did you talk about?

Threesomes, Sexuality and Oscar Wilde. Mainly threesomes. After a few more drinks she seemed to be far better versed in the subject than myself – she’s a bit of a dark horse. It was quite an enlightening conversation actually; never knew there were so many ins and outs.

Were you on form?

Pretty much most of the night until it really mattered… next time it’s going well I’ll try to keep it up.

Best thing about your date?

The cocktail menus hidden in books at the private members’ bar. The 1920’s prohibition era theme, excellent cocktails and classy décor made me sorry I’d left my fedora at home.

Worst thing about your date?  

Too polite. Constantly apologising and far too indecisive. She spent so long deciding what to have from the menu we ended up being too late to be served a free meal and had to go elsewhere. Not impressed.

Could she meet your parents?

Yes, but on the conditions that she converted to Judaism, earned above £30K and had a physique especially evolved for bearing children.

Marks out of 10?

Looks (8) Conversation (9) Patience with waiter (2) Taste in cocktails (8) Fashion sense (7) Pillow talk (7.5)

Are you going to meet again?

Hopefully – would very much like to. Especially with the free meal on the cards.

Gabriel and Evie enjoyed cocktails at Alimentum, dinner at Stazione, and further cocktails at the 12a Club. If you’d like to participate in The Tab’s next blind date, please email [email protected] with your name, college, sexuality and a single interesting fact about yourself.