Tab Blind Date

Sometimes, being single doesn’t cut it.

Buying a Meal Deal for two from Sainsbury’s and just saving the other one for later. Having to make yourself a hot water bottle to keep you warm at night. Getting retrospectively angry with Queen Elizabeth I for turning down so many potential dates.

Bridget Jones worried that she’d be found dead being eaten by Alsatians. The Alsatians have been replaced by a gnawing sense of anxiety about work, but the message remains the same: If no one’s around to favourite your tweet, did you ever tweet at all?

Worry not.

The Tab is here to help. Starting up a brand new blind date feature à la Guardian, The Tab will sweep the furthest corners of Girton to find a beau for your arrow, a Fry to your Laurie or a Nat to your Sci. This will be the trial run, but if it’s a success we hope to make it a weekly feature. Each (temporary) singleton will fill out a feedback form afterwards which will go up on The Tab, rating the meal, each other and the date. Whether it acts an ice-breaker for your best man’s speech or a momento for your grandchildren of the time when social interaction had not yet been entirely confined to the internet, this date will be a cornerstone of your romantic history.

Marriage has a nice ring to it…

We’ll find out for sure that romance isn’t dead at 6.45pm on Friday 17^th May when two singletons will go mingle in town, courtesy of Cambridge restaurant Alimentum, recently awarded its first Michelin star and a whole heap of praise: “Three Rosettes” (The AA Restaurant Guide), “This was a treat from my boyfriend at the weekend. What a good one it was too” (Moira G, Tripadvisor).

Alimentum: always appetising

If the free meal doesn’t tickle your palate, perhaps the prospect of love at first sight will. A quick survey of my friends asking them what the worst things about being single were was depressing to say the least:

“When you look forward to supervisions as laying the foundations for a potential date.”

“When you realise that the Virgin Mary lost her virginity before you did.”

“When you text your friends asking if they’re going to hall, and they all reply saying “no, sorry, going to Jamie’s with my girlfriend tonight” so you go and make a cheese sandwich in your room.”

Or even “When you go to bed with a lump in your throat and in your jeans, both of which you have to deal with alone.”

Enough is enough.

We’re fairly bright, moderately attractive, and more likely to be Prime Minister than students from any other university bar one. It’s time we took control of our own love lives. If you’re interested in taking part, email [email protected] with your name, sexuality, college and a single interesting fact about yourself.

Put away those revision books and put your heart on your sleeve: Nothing wrong with a 2:2 when there’s two to share it with.