How to Beat the January Blues

As a new term begins, MOLLIE WINTLE is at hand to help you get through the toughest month of them all.

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January’s here. January 2013. And we’re all thinking the same thing. It’s not 2012, is it?

That was a great year. Remember that time when Felix Baumgartner became the first skydiver to go faster than the speed of sound? Or when everyone thought that there was a lion loose in Essex?! Good times. All we have now is a royal baby. Snooze. That’ll only get interesting when it starts impersonating fascists and/or gets naked on the front page of the Sun. That’s got to be at least eleven years from now. Until then, here are some top ways to beat those January blues:

Snow

It snowed the other day and it might snow again, so why not get involved?! But don’t stick to the archaic snow angel/snowball fight – that is so 2000. Get creative. Get low. Get loose. But most of all get off the beaten track. I’m thinking building an igloo. I’m thinking writing an ode to snow. I’m thinking pretending you’re a snow otter for the day and burrowing like there’s no tomorrow. Alternatively, if you’re feeling really bold, why not substitute snow into songs which have words which rhyme with snow in them? Ain’t Snow Mountain High Enough. Snow Woman Snow Cry. Should I Stay or Should I Snow. You should then sing these to your friends. This will not annoy them. If it does, get new friends.

Embrace your inner “snow otter”

Francis Bacon tried to wrap a chicken in snow. He ended up catching pneumonia and dying. I think it’s important to remember that while fun with snow is all well and good, safe fun with snow is even better. Don’t forget your ear-muffs. Bed rest is snowverrated.

Embrace the Blues

You’re feeling down? Don’t bat it away, embrace it! Open the door to those negative feelings, and pour them a cup of tea. It’s a very cathartic experience, and one which I have personally undergone by making a list of things I hate. It is called “Things I Hate”, and it goes something like this:

– People telling me when I’m blushing

– The tongue face emoticon 😛

– The words ‘choccy’, ‘food porn’ and ‘poorly’

– People who gulp water really loudly

– War

Take up a Minor Hobby

Not a major one – that would be too time-consuming. No, just a little one which you keep simmering away on the side. Something to turn to on those frosty eves of yore, when the idea of leaving college is enough for your cracked and frozen tear ducts to emit a little rusty wheeze. I, for example, have started a twitter account for my corridor. My friend has become a Dryathlete. My brother is growing a beard. Like I said, nothing major, just a little something to fall back on if the whole degree thing doesn’t work out.

Happy 2013, everyone.