Clunge-Gate: Sexth Formers in Secret Homerton Vice Den
Homerton have come up with their own distinctive brand of community outreach – having local sixth formers romp in their loos.
While most colleges rent out sports facilities and offer guided tours, Homerton have come up with their own distinctive brand of community outreach – having local sixth formers romp in their loos.
A randy pair of kids, both pupils at neighbouring Hills Road Sixth Form College, were discovered in a college toilet by porters last Friday, after a series of ear-splitting sessions.
Their lunchtime liaisons were made all the more bizarre by the choice of location – a third floor residential bathroom on a remote corridor.
Students returning to the ABC staircase after the Easter break noticed something unusual from the very first day.
They heard a ten minute stretch of moaning and yelping, before giggling and heavy footsteps leading away from the scene.
This continued every weekday for two weeks. The pupils left themselves even more open to discovery – after planning their dirty deeds for precisely 12.55 each day.
Lunchtime at the college begins with ample time for the pair to get to their boudoir of choice.
“At first we thought it was one of our friends”, said a second-year English, Drama and Education student and eyewitness.
“But after a while, we realised something was up.
“On one day, there were condom wrappers strewn everywhere.
“It was too loud to even go outside.
Porters were eventually called, and the pair were escorted from the scene.
But others were more admiring of the two-some.
"Great idea, wonderful committment; near-perfect execution", said an adoring Jon Crook, a second-year mathematician.
"So plucky as well. I'm in awe."
Hills Road have so far failed to comment on the incident.
“I will address this to the Assistant Principal”, said Alison Clarke, PA to Principal Linda Sinclair. But so far the college has refused to speak to The Tab.
The college regularly sends over 50 pupils to Oxbridge –including Homerton – and has been described as: ‘almost as good as Eton, and free’, by The Times. The college has no speciality, and excels in all subjects.
But it's safe to say the pair won't be studying sex-ed any time soon.