Robert Smith: Culture Vulture

It can’t be the third Culture Vulture of term, I mean it just can’t. I would have done far more revision by now if that was the case. No surely there must be some mistake. Well my friend unfortunately there’s not, and as Culture Vulture is a couple of days later than usual, it’s worse than you originally thought.

Fear not though my disheartened and disorganised reader, for once again I am valiantly forsaking my degree so you have something to actually do in your free time that doesn’t involve the words ‘lash’, ‘banter’ or ‘it wasn’t exactly rape’. Alternatively, if you can't be arsed to do something different at least there's 500 words of pure procrastination to distract you from work.

Art: Banksy and Friends is running at Cambridge Contemporary Art on Trinity Street from Friday, so head down to see work by the legendary corporate cash-cow, *ahem* I mean subversive underground artiste, as well as work by his primary influence Blek le Rat.

Food and Drink: It’s exam term and, let’s face it, you can’t be arsed to cook. If you’re going to live off takeaways though put down that Domino’s Menu immediately. Instead give Meghna a ring on 01223 727410. They’ll set you up with the nicest takeaway curry in Cambridge for a fraction of the price.

Music: Trendy Oxford indie outfit Foals are playing the Junction on Thursday, but it’s sold out so erase this sentence from your brain immediately. If you’re looking for a real musical treat this week then listen to this lost Rolling Stones track from 1972 unveiled last month.

Film: Powell and Pressburger classic The Red Shoes is being shown by John’s Film Society on Thursday. Many would argue it’s their best film (I prefer A Matter of Life and Death myself) and it’s like totally metafictional you poncey postmodern pricks.

Television: It’s the election soon apparently, so what better TV to get you in the mood than The Thick of It? You can get the whole lot on DVD or you can watch Series Three on YouTube if you’re feeling a bit cheaper. If you don’t like swearing it’s probably a good idea to fuck the fuck off.

Style: Fit College has returned this week so decide which couple is the most stylish and vote for them. Or, more conventionally, pick the one you’d rather fuck.

Union: Pole dancing…I mean “Pole Fitness” is still running at the Union although, much to Andrew Chapman’s chagrin, someone in Robinson keeps tearing off the section of the Union posters advertising it. If you don’t fancy empowering yourself (or don’t possess the necessary genitalia to attend) the Comedy Election Debate on Thursday is bound to be cracking.

YouTube Video of the Week: In a twist this week I’ve picked the best video to have been banned from YouTube. I am of course talking about the sublime video to MIAs new single ‘Born Free’. The Guardian have complained that it’s not subtle enough, which rather takes the fun out of all the ginger persecuting glory.