Scuba style anyone?

Harem pants. Fur. Jumpsuits. Skinny jeans. All ridiculed or dismissed for being impractical or objectionable when they first emerged, yet now acceptable items of fashion. A few years ago if you had seen someone wearing trousers with a crotch dropped and dangling around their knees, you would have declared them mad. Or wearing an adult nappy. Yet now the harem paint is a firm staple for the fashion-conscious. Fur was once dismissed as an outmoded, cruel item of clothing. In the 80s, wearing fur would have earned you a bucketful of paint in the face. Yet with the might of Anna Wintour and her Vogue army, fur is back in the shops. While the majority of this new fur may be fake, the turnaround of opinion on fur from disgust to desire is still quite extraordinary. Are we slave to trends? Have a look at the weird trends of this season. I wonder if, in 6 months time, we will be wearing them to Cindies…

Scuba style

Neon, plastic fringing, tie dye and all teamed with sunglasses that look suspiciously like they were stolen from the IMAX Doesn’t sound like the makings of a good outfit. It sounds more like a bad memory of my tweenage years when slashed punky fish tops were the height of cool. In fact most of the models on the Proenza Scouler catwalk looked like they had been illicitly experimenting with neon home hairdye kits while their mums were out. You never know though, it may come in handy in England’s rainy summers.

Americana

At first glance, this trend seems innocent enough. Plaid shirts, pale stonewashed denim and dreamy prairie skirts. That is until you add LEATHER LACY SHORTS. This is a ludicrous concept which makes me think of lacy cows posing in front of their inadequately frilled companions. Then again, maybe Dolce and Gabanna were feeling practical. Tight leather shorts + summer adds up to a sweaty disaster, so maybe the lace is not in fact for decoration, but for perspiration.

Unfinished hems

At the risk of sounding like my mother, this trend is silly. It looks like Jil Sander made a set of perfectly nice suits and dresses, and then put them through the shredder. I should imagine that if you did wear anything like this, you would be plagued by little old ladies pottering good naturedly behind you, calling “You’ve got a thread loose, dearie”. Wear to Cindies at your peril, you may unravel halfway through the night and come back more scantily clad than you intended.

I leave you with the wise words of Vogue. Apparently “The big story for summer, is nudity”. So there you go, if you are pushed for time next term, just cut out getting dressed. An extra 10 minutes to cram and you will be perfectly on trend.