Rating your favourite watering hole: The search for Bristol’s best boozer
Exams over? Win or lose we’re on the booze
This year has been somewhat tumultuous. Between strikes and literal shitstorms in the AASL, it’s fair to say that some of us will be drinking long after the Platty Joobs (long live the Queen). We’re going to rate the atmosphere, prices and most importantly: beer gardens. Maybe this could come inn use for figuring out where you are going drown the post-exam blues (come down).
Our metric will be pints e.g., Atmosphere – 3/5 pints.
Also, there’s a special Jägerbomb for the best overall public house in the land, dare I say country.
We’ve all seen the boujee buses and hobbit hole looking tables that greet you as you enter the locomotive themed pub. The lighting and heaters make the blustery summer nights a breeze. They even have their own brew! Which is in fact the only beer or cider under four quid so Steam will make your cash evaporate Asap Rocky. Overall, however, it’s not a bad establishment. Friendly staff, but one who pours a pint of the nectar of the gods in plastic, commits a cardinal sin (and charges you a quid for the privilege).
Atmosphere: 4 pints
Prices: 3 ½
Beer Garden: Solid 5
Overall: 4 pints and you spilled the fifth
The one, the only… Spoons without a carpet. This pub is the saviour of the student wallet. At just £1.69 for the cheapest ale, granted not the most appealing summer drink, but Aperol Spritz are now available alongside proper drinks. The only negative, aside from the inebriated students attempting to part the queues to the bar like Moses parted the Red Sea; is the lack of outdoor seating. This in combination with the copious jugs that you will be consuming makes for some crippling hangxiety. Rugby lads are also banned from this place on a Wednesday, so at least the establishment has morals.
Atmosphere: 4 pints
Prices: 5 pints
Beer Garden: 2 pints
Overall: 3 and you bought a half because you have a deadline tomorrow
The Brewhouse & Kitchen – Microbrewery
One of the upper echelons in this list, the Brewhouse boasts a tremendous and secretive garden that backs onto Cotham. The brewing experience looks like something one who appreciates the finer things in life may enjoy. Or you can sling em’ back in the glorious sun and be free from the annoying freshers that will scran Bells and Coke all night and wonder why you’re kicking them out in an aforementioned establishment *cough* spoons *cough*. The brass distillery visible from both inside and outside the pub demands attention. Like you will be doing on your Insta story in such a quaint, gentrified area. Alas, a burger and a pint of their own brew is £10.95, so why not give it a go?
Beer Garden: 5
Overall: 3 but you scranned a Dragon Soop on the way.
The atmosphere in this densely seated pub is unmatched on this list. From the little toy train that runs across the wall to the fairy lit garden. This place has it all. It’s also in St. Michaels, which is apparently hip, so there’s that. It’s also a refurbished holding cell for those being sent to the gallows, do with that information what you will. The wooden furniture outside also makes adequate room to play the board games they provide. It would be deceitful for us not to forewarn you of the extraordinary prices. Good for impressing the new flame? Yes. Quiet pint with the boys? Best not.
Beer Garden: 4
Overall: 2 pints because you only had £11 of your student loan left
The White Bear
Situated not too far from the vaults, the Bear is a nuanced pub that shows the footy but also hosts some of the more prestigious socials that UoB has to offer. In as far as the interior is concerned, you needn’t worry. They have a pool table, an events room, and vibrant worn books on a shelf. That way you can feel studious whilst drinking a Stella. The prices are relative to the ST. Michaels hype and so don’t let this place make your wallet bare. The Garden also leaves a lot to be desired, there are metal tables with chairs with the wow-factor coming from the open barbeque and drunkards attempting not to fall down the stair at the door.
Beer Garden: 2
Overall: 2 and then you left the social early because you ran out of cash
There we have it, arguably the most popular public house choices for the Bristol student. You must have been wondering, but who gets the Jägerbomb? None of them, the sports bar do five for £10. None deserve it.