To BeReal, or to BeFake, that is the question: Here are all the different types of Bristol students who post on BeReal

‘I promise I didn’t post late, it was just uploading’

BeReal is sweeping through Bristol, quicker than syphilis spreading around Stoke Bishop, and it has its claws in everyone.

I have seen people on the verge of tears when their BeReal does not receive a single reaction. I have watched friends spend hours anxiously waiting for the notification to pop up when its uncharacteristically late. Occasionally they check in with mates, nervously reassuring one another and asking, “where is the BeReal today?”

The joy that you feel when that notification comes up and you happen to be at a lively pres is unparalleled. The relief settles in with the knowledge that your BeReal will be a good one today. You organise your friends into an immaculate formation before striking a pose yourself and securing the pic. You smile to yourself and make a “we’re being so real right now” joke, for the third time that week to your housemates. Life is good.

When you are documenting a moment of your life every single day, repetition is bound to occur. Some patterns have emerged in the way you BeRealers post, and we are here to expose all the different types of the people who post on the app.

The grinder

Definitely the most common type of BeReal at the moment. A split screen shines in the foreground, with hints of the ASS in the background. A sad and overworked student frowns, trapped in their little box in the corner, just like they are trapped by society’s expectations to succeed in academia. They could crack at any moment under the pressure off being real.

The chef

It is tricky enough trying to make sure the meat is ready at the same time as the veggies, let alone timing everything so it is ready perfectly in time for the BeReal.

The extrovert

No matter what time BeReal tries to catch them out, these social butterflies are always with someone. Usually, a big group of smiling students will be captured in the back camera.

If I wanted to feel inadequate about my social interactions, I would have opened Instagram.

The couple

Nope, seeing someone post a pic of them snuggling with their partner, every single day without fail, doesn’t make me feel lonely at all. Why would you ask that?

It’s extra annoying if both people in the relationship post the exact same photo so you’re forced to look at it twice.

The BeFaker

Arguably the worst type of person on this app. Those of you who completely turn your nose up at the premise and post five hours late. We all know you were waiting to post something worthy of your BeReal because the activity always looks suspiciously fun when you do finally post.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to share a cheeky pic of you at the hairdressers or at the football with your mates, just use snapchat.

The sleepyhead

No matter the hour, some people are yet to have risen. It’s okay, we are all students. Climb back into your Stoke Bishop single bed and hide from that hangover all day.

Some people would hold off posting from their bed every day, but not you. Hats off to you sir for your commitment to the cause of being real.

The indecisive

Are you not em-bar-rassed?

Maybe you’ve been smiling away, retaking photos thinking that you are safe, and no one will know. I’m here to tell you that you are not safe, everyone can see how many times you have re-taken that photo of the corner of your forehead.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Relax, you are doing fine: Here are 10 things all Bristol students are doing instead of actually preparing for exams 

17 Harrow-ing things about the privately educated that baffle state school kids

Exams are upon us: Find out what your note taking style says about you