Relax, you are doing fine: Here are 10 things all Bristol students are doing instead of actually preparing for exams

Stop dossing about with mindfulness, meditation, and actually planning your essays. Ignore TikTok and the studytubers who want you to believe that waking up before 8am, working out, and reciting positive affirmations will put you in the right headspace to face 6,000 words in three days.

We know that the real mindset for success, the grindset, if you will, is reached with enough caffeine to give you tremors and regular breakdowns in the toilet.

Exam season will be over soon and we will be launched into a magnificent summer. Until then however, here are 10 things that all Bristol students will be doing over the exam period.

1. Dropping out

Why get a degree when a simple life doing menial tasks would be so much more fulfilling than running the relentless rat race of capitalism. Plus, you can’t fail if you don’t even try in the first place.

2. Making a change in their physical appearance that they will immediately regret

Something about spending so long in Senate can have you feeling kind of stagnant. So now’s the time to do something completely atrocious to your hair. Fuck it, cut your own fringe or pierce your nipples. You won’t be able to rock a mullet when you’re 40 (I should hope you won’t be anyway).

It’s not like anyone important is gonna see you, you’re in a long term relationship with your laptop until hot girl summer comes around the corner.

3. Watching The Lord of the Rings trilogy

Watching this cinematic masterpiece is a very productive use of time. J.R.R Tolkien was actually a major scholar of the English language, specialising in Old and Middle English, so call it research studies in Medieval literature.

For bonus procrastination, add The Hobbit and all the extended editions.

4. Developing a nicotine addiction

It was bound to happen at some point.

When you’re flexing the ability to blow smoke rings in the smoking area, no one will know that you actually spent ages vaping in your room on your own and crying into a graveyard of empty JUUL pods. Very cool.

5. Drinking themselves into oblivion

Tell yourself it’ll get the creative juices flowing, whet the whistle, open up that Pandora’s box of ideas that you know is in there somewhere. No doubt you will end up watching seven hours of Bridgerton (or chosen bingeable TV series) instead.

6. Power napping 

A good nap will put your life right back in order. Bonus tip: drink a coffee, then nap for 20 minutes, and wake up feeling spritely, rejuvenated and ready to carpe the diem.

Or snooze your alarm/ forget to set one in the first place and then wake up at 21:00, confused and unaware what century you’re even in.

7. Plenty of time for a little cry in between revision

Can be adapted to whichever location you’re in and whichever kind of cry you want. Feeling dramatic? Go to a really public library, maybe the ASS, lean against the wall then drop to your knees and just WAIL. Feeling a bit more private? Sob in the toilets, then when you come out and someone asks if you’re okay, just flash them a peace sign and pout.

8. Projecting onto flatmates and making their problems everyone else’s problems

A problem shared is a problem halved; so why not share it with everyone? and then by all known laws of maths, problem solved! You’ve spent so long tolerating the dirty dishes and overflowing bins, but today they just look extra disgusting; so screech at your flatmates, blow up the house group chat and release some of that pent up rage.

9. Doomscrolling for hours 

Hey, do you know what could be fun? opening up Instagram and seeing what everyone else is doing with their lives! Nothing like comparing yourself to others to spark some self deprecation. If you use your phone to apply for an extension I would’ve thought that’s pretty productive as well.

10. Feeling shit

Exams are a very challenging time and the self-care gurus might be actually onto something. Letting someone know that you’ve been feeling down lately; like a close friend, house mate, family or even tutor can help ease the load.

The university’s well being and support system can offer advice on where to go next, and provides services such as free one-at-a-time counselling. Despite it being a difficult conversation, talking about how you’ve been feeling can make a world of difference and opens up options to help take the pressure off.

Student Wellbeing service:

This link directs you to the Bristol University wellbeing page, where if you scroll to the bottom of the page, you can submit a form to request wellbeing support for yourself, or for someone else.
Email: [email protected]
Tel: 0117 456 9860  (24/7 triage service, non-emergency line)

Bristol Nightline, 8pm-8am:

Tel: 01179 266 266
Online messaging: http://bristol.nightline.ac.uk/

24hr EMERGENCY ONLY:

Tel: 0117 331 1223

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