Galentine’s Day is so much better than Valentine’s Day

It’s no contest


Even the most comfortable singleton can’t help but feel the pangs of loneliness when the aisles flood with heart-adorned boxes of chocolate and cards emblazoned with sickly-sweet proclamations of love. You find yourself trudging through the corporate onslaught of romance, each dog teddy printed with the words “I labr-adore you” threatening to thaw your icy heart.

Yet there is an alternative to the traditional Valentine’s Day, one which presents no risk of embarrassing yourself. If you must celebrate a day dedicated to love, spend it with those whose love is unrelated to your remarkable lack of a gag reflex. I’m talking about your gals.

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Friends do couple photos better than couples do

You don’t have to be single to partake in a romantic day with your friends. If you’re in a relationship, defying convention and refusing to spend Valentine’s Day together could be the bold move that moves you to It-Couple status. I’d be willing to bet that come Sunday, Instagram will be lit up with photos of Taylor, Gigi, and the rest of the squad enjoying Galentine’s together, not a Calvin or Zayn in sight. If you’re looking to have a relationship worthy of being each other’s music video muses, then you’d best follow suit and save the coupley business for another day.

Besides, what’s the appeal of taking part in the romantic cliché? You’re taking the risk of having a shitty date, but with the added pressure of being surrounded by other people pretending they’re having dates that live up to the hype. Later, you’ll be bombarded by endless loved-up social media posts that only tighten the strait-jacket of amorous disappointment the shattered expectations of Valentine’s tends to place upon its victims. Save yourself the inevitability of being underwhelmed, and swap the V for a G.

Galentine’s Day provides its partakers with the bliss of a judgement free day. Unlike in a romantic situation, where everything is meticulously thought through, your gals are too aware of all of your disgusting habits so no shaming could possibly occur. You want that messy spaghetti? Eat the spaghetti. What do you wear on Galentine’s Day? Whatever you damn well like. Chances are your gals have seen you hanging out of your arse on the sofa, garlic mayo crusted around your lips, and a bucket next to you just in case. So wear that tracksuit, or that unflattering jumper that makes you look like you’re smuggling several overgrown mountain gorillas around your midriff. Promise you – they won’t give a shit.

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Selfies on a date = wrong. Selfies with the gals? Totally acceptable

The activities available on Galentine’s surpass those of Valentine’s too. You could have a full on pamper-day, and once you’ve got that winged liner on fleek, go and take a million selfies together and put those romantic couple photos to shame. It’s the unwritten rule a gal shall never condemn another gal for the hallowed act of selfie-taking, so snap away guilt-free. Putting on make-up just for the sake of it is also a hundred per cent better than putting it on to impress a date who probably thinks that Ruby Woo is someone they’ve seen in a pornographic video.

If pampering isn’t your thing, Galentine’s is still for you. Bulk buy junk food, grab the wine, and dedicate yourself to a full day of movie marathons. Particularly good to get yourself out of the love-day rut would be a marathon of the least romantic films you can think of. Nobody is going to be thinking of flowers, or chocolates, whilst multiple people are getting slaughtered onscreen. Trust me – the bloodier, the better.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that Galentine’s is a gendered day geared towards women. “Gal” is a moniker that any of your friends could acquire, given that they possess the appropriate level of brilliance necessary to be worthy of the title. So boys, you too can take part in Galentine’s. Men can call themselves one of the “gals”, and should be proud of that title no matter how many punishments their sports teams try to inflict on them due to this brave acceptance. Some of the best gals have a dick, and any day that celebrates the uncomplicated love of multiple people of different genders beats the monotony of a two-person Valentine’s.

So this year, say no to tradition. Get a group of your best gals together, and have the best Galentine’s ever. Besides – nobody actually likes flowers, do they?