If you don’t have one of these six things do you even go to UoB?

VK’s and freshers tees are definitely part of it.

birmingham birmingham tab brum brum tab clock tower fab huge coat merch old joe tab the tab university of birmingham UoB VK

From the outside, it may look like us UoB students are a cult that worship Old Joe by drinking too much VK and screaming ‘Feed ’em to the Lions’ on most Saturday nights. Well, that would be pretty accurate. But alongside our inexplicable dedication to the largest free-standing clock tower in the world, they are many other things that bind us together.

You have: A freshers t-shirt 

You might not remember the night, you might not even live in those halls, but you have the t-shirt.

You have: An unrequited love for VK

Not because you only know how to choose a drink by its colour – but because they’re great and have somehow become a new currency. If you haven’t said “just get me a VK” then how do you ever get paid back for things?

You have: A huge jacket 

The birmingham weather is more confusing than the election of Trump. We don’t know why, we don’t know who caused it, but we know we are completely baffled. For the moments, which appear through the clearest of skies, every UoB student must be prepared for snow, rain and sleet regardless of BBC’s predictions for the day.

You have: Some form of UoB merch 

Whether its a classic UoB sweatshirt, or the rarer UoB cufflinks, you have some sort of UoB related merchandise. Yes, there is a UoB watch, and no, you shouldn’t buy it.

You have: A FAB story

Love it or hate it, live there or been once, every UoB student has at least one tragic tale that starts with “This one time at Fab..” and leads to all sorts of embarassing/bizarre/funny stories that may or may not include our favourite mermaid statue. The promise of alcohol until 3 am and being only a walk away from home make it hard to resist. All in all, you’ve had at least one FAB night at our student union.

You have: A whole load of photos of Old Joe 

Some are proud and post them all over Instagram, others leave them in their camera role, but we all have them. Old Joe not only consumes our thoughts but also our storage space.