What type of procrastinator are you?

Read this and procrastinate

exams how to procrastinate procrastination procrastinator revision the great hall uni university of birmingham

It’s the time of year again when everyone stops going out and the library becomes the new social club – minus the fun.

Every day it’s rammed with miserable students – most of who haven’t been to the library all year – all trying desperately to cram unnecessary amounts of information into their heads, and hoping at least some of it will stick. But not everyone has the stamina to do 12 hours solid, and chances are you’re spending half your time procrastinating.

But just what sort of procrastinator are you? A question which is obviously of paramount importance.

Perfect student

A rare specimen able to power through the revision period free from unnecessary distractions. This person is on it. Us mere mortals look at this person with awe tainted by jealous disgust.

Most likely to be revising in the library or at home surrounded by many books, hand-written notes and post-it covered walls. Their appearance is immaculate because they’ve got it all under control.

Most likely to be overheard saying: “Oh I’m not worried, I’ve been revising since semester one” and ” Did you hear the library is closing early tonight ? So annoying I won’t get my 12 hours in today.”

In their element

In their element

The magic first

They’ll do no work all year and little to no revision, but you can guarantee they will end up with a first. Damn them.

This person is generally really good looking, extremely intelligent, sociable and sporty. They are captain of something or other and they go about their life with a general ease. Obviously another whose appearance is impeccable, they aren’t worried because exam season is a breeze.

Most likely to be overheard saying: “I can’t help it if I’m naturally a genius.”

Not worried about a thing

Not worried about a thing

The avoider

A sudden urge to meticulously organise everything from pens to books — preparation is key. A cuppa is also essential in the pre-revision process.

Appearance-wise, this person is has freshly washed hair and ironed their shirt in an effort to look in control, but it’s all an act.

Most likely to be overheard saying: “I’ve eaten a whole packet of chocolate fingers and grapes and I haven’t even opened my books yet”  and “I have to be mentally ‘in the zone’ before I can actually start revising.”

Candles are a must

Candles are a must

The easily distracted

Manageable level though hinders progress somewhat. Social media is a major offender. They are giving the appearance they’re working, but unknown to the outside world your Facebook and The Tab pages are constantly open. Procrastination breaks are a regular feature in your revision timetable.

Likes working at home safe from judging looks in the library. Work space is generally cluttered and disorganised.

Normal attire, minimum effort, though still presentable to outside world.

Most likely to be overheard saying : “It’s fine I’ll just check Facebook, Daily Mail, maybe do some online shopping, then I’ll definitely start” and ” I spent £60 on ASOS the other day , I didn’t even need anything. I guess I just won’t eat next week.”

The blue banner is a tell-tale sign...

The blue banner is a tell-tale sign…

The creative spirit

They know they have tonnes of revision to do, and yet choose this as the perfect time to start writing their first novel. Why is it when your mind really should be focused on exams the creative juices start to flow?

Would be wearing wavy garms a lot of floral and abstract prints, probably revises in the garden with a cup of herbal tea and a superfood nutty biscuit to nibble on.

At one with nature

At one with nature

The major procrastinator

Generally unproductive. Once it sets in, it’s near impossible to engage in any other activity. Can and will waste entire days. Gossip girl /Game of Thrones/ Breaking Bad marathon anyone? One episode always leads to another.

A standard top knot trackies or pyjamas, comfort is key for these revision wasters. They’ll be fresh faced but pale from the glare of their computer screen.

Most likely to be overheard saying: “I started Game of Thrones this morning, I’ve watched 10 episodes and I’m determined to finish by the end of the day” and “I can’t bring myself to revise, I’m having’Breaking Bad withdrawal symptoms.”

Goodbye first… Hello best friend<3

The Caffeine addict

Gallons of coffee, tea or energy drink of choice is the only thing spurring you on through your arduous revision. Countless cups of caffeine filled drinks means you’re buzzing to get as much work done as possible, in as fast a time as possible: all-nighters are a regular occurrence.

General appearance is below par. Hair all over the place, the face isn’t looking fresh, dark circles under the eyes, generally exhausted. An effort to look half decent is the last thing you care about.

Most likely to be overheard saying: “I haven’t slept in 26 hours but it’s fine, I’ll power through. Got five hours till my exam, can probably cram some more information into my brain.”

Caffeine overload

Caffeine overload

The frazzled fresher

Stressed beyond belief, even though everyone keeps reminding you first year doesn’t count. This person locks themselves in the library and whiles away the day stressing about every possible eventuality which may occur during, before and after their exam. A day spent freaking out is not a day well spent.

Hair scraped back in a messy topknot, they probably haven’t washed in a few days because they just don’t have the time.

Most likely to be overheard saying: “I haven’t slept in days and I have no appetite, I think this is the end. I can’t deal.”

Take a chill pill, please.

Looking very comfortable

Looking very comfy

The pessimist

Doesn’t even bother to revise for this first batch of exams. This is a practice, they have resigned themselves to a rest prolonging the pain until September, even though when it gets to then they probably would’ve left all their revision to the night before, creating a never-ending viscous circle. Good luck m8.

Most likely to be overheard saying: “I have tried to revise but I gave up because I’m just going to fail anyway.”

Getting your priorities right

Getting your priorities right

Code red: Total denial

Blissfully unaware or choosing to ignore the gigantic mountain of work piling around you. A skill in itself, being capable of blocking it all out and able to occupy your time with literally anything other than dreaded revision. Exams? What exams? Semester three is like freshers all over again.

Everything about their appearance wreaks of last night. From vodka seeped clothing to pizza crumbs in their hair.

Most likely to be overheard saying: “C’mon guys let’s go out, our exam isn’t until 11am” and “I read on The Tab this guy wrote his dissertation drunk, deffo going to try that.”

Glen knows best

Glen knows best