It’s Not the Distance, it’s You.

Another year, another batch of high school sweethearts about to split up.

argument Distance LDR

And so it begins again. Once  more freshers flood to university, still passionately clinging to their high school sweetheart. 

But as Freshers’ Week takes its toll and the “talent” begins to emerge in abundance, it isn’t long before the eyes begin to wonder onto more exciting prospects.

And this is the reality unfortunately for the majority of you budding romantics- your pre-uni love affair is about to come crashing down.

Coming to a relationship near you

Coming to a relationship near you

We’ve all heard the “should we break up?” conversation, we know the debate about whether long distance works, and of course, we’ve all witnessed rants about jealousy when it comes to the booze and sex fest that is Freshers’ Week- it’s a torrid time to say the least.

And of course, some couples do work. But they’re the exception.

The majority of you will soon be blaming your “critically important” relationship issues on one thing: the distance.

This is a load of crap. The issue is not that you’re an hours train journey from one another- it’s that your relationship clearly was flawed to start with.

I'm afraid your romance is about to set sail

I’m afraid your romance is about to hit turbulent waters

It really is the same year-on-year: “lets give it the ol’ college try”.

In September you’d committed to visiting at weekends, set aside time to Skype, it was all looking so good. Then Josh from your Module 1 seminar came along and before you knew it, the whole thing fell apart. Damn you Josh.

Because the reality is that you’re in denial about just how powerful of an influence temptation is, and when mixed with alcohol, it definitely makes for a lethal concoction.

The temptation of other people is any couple’s biggest fear, and is a particularly fatal element when it comes to the long distance dating game.

Let’s not beat around the bush- everybody thinks “what if” when confronted with an attractive member of the opposite sex.

But when those probing questions continue to linger on your mind all day, every day, then it’s about time that you confronted the facts- your relationship sucks.

temptation...

temptation…

But why is that temptation such a bad thing? Just embrace the fact that you’re young and don’t want to be tied down.

We live in liberal times, stop looking for the time-old excuse in order to save face.

Of course it can be easier to make a relationship work if you’re with that person every day, but at the same time a failing relationship will always cling together when you spend every waking hour with one another.

So when you find yourselves thrown miles apart, and begin pondering over that £30 train ticket which could be put to better use, don’t try and shut it out- accept how you’re really feeling.

The time apart is more like a catalyst, or an excuse, if you will, for that long over due break up. Your relationship was probably dying a long time ago, the distance game is just the final nail in the coffin.

It's time for both of you to move on

It’s time for both of you to move on

And with accepting the shortcomings of your soon-to-be breakup, you can avoid the substantial time lost wallowing in self pity and denial.

Get out there and enjoy the freedom.

As cliché as it sounds, university offers a fresh opportunity to start over, don’t drag your extinguished flames along with you. See your break up as a new lease of life, another rung on the ladder.