The best Tinder pick-up lines

Can’t keep your cool? Always getting the cold shoulder? Probably best to avoid these Tinder pick-up lines

We’ve all heard of Tinder, and I’m sure many guys are guilty of sending the odd ‘I’m joking if it doesn’t work, but if it does work lets go with it’ lame pickup line.

So we decided to round up the top 10 Tinder pick-up lines:


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Whilst I’m sure archaeology related pick-up lines work great in the club, perhaps not so much on Tinder.

Besides what were you thinking? She tells you she’s ‘taking it at college’ and you can’t make any innuendo from that? Poor show Jonathan, you’ve let us down.


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It’s been many moons since opening a conversation with a girl about how large your penis has elicited a positive response.

But the immediate reaction to quote Goodfellas? Maybe the shock got to you Praveen, maybe that footlong diverted some much needed blood flow away from your noggin’.

Either way it’s okay, we understand, there’s plenty more subway workers in the sea.


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Short and sweet, we like it Tom. Straight to the point and no messing around with all that ‘manners and decency’ malarkey.

Once the tension has been broken with this sly yet direct insinuation, I’m sure the ladies fall at your feet.


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Kinda backfired on ya there Charlie. Though in your defence, I don’t see why talking about Harry Potter wouldn’t instantly put any respectable girl into the mood.

Maybe work on the delivery a bit more then you’re golden.



Ah the notorious vitamin D, sought after by many I’m sure. To be honest any vitamin related pick up line gets my vote.

Unfortunately for Justin though I fear this time he’s talked his way into a serious vitamin V deficiency.


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Well that sure took an unexpected turn. Any pick up line which wouldn’t sound out of place in a testimony for a sexual offence court case probably isn’t going to be that successful.

But hey who am I to judge Nate, right? Yeah I’m judging him.


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Alright so you fumbled the start Tanner, don’t worry brah it’s still good you got this. Just keep going until you come out the other side.

I know, ask her if she’s blocked you that gets them going. Shit still not working, use the race card! Damn man I don’t know what to tell ya, all of that should have worked, maybe she’s just busy? Yeah that’s definitely it.


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And so we go down the rabbit hole of Tinder pickup lines.

Where the surreal and strange become common place and two days later drunken messages are to be expected. What Ian lacks in charm he more than makes up for in graphic imagery. Stick to the poetry, Wordsworth.


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Quite a graphic start, and sounding slightly pervy, but funny and original enough to successfully break the ice and get some laughter.

Great job! Though I think the underlying desperation was starting to shine through just a tiny bit, but she probably didn’t notice.


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You’ve ruined it there and then, there is no coming back from this ever.

Even if it was an innocent typo, the connotations of necrophilia will forever haunt any attempts in this conquest.

Always check before pressing send.

So in hindsight, it would probably be better if you avoided granny banging and jelly dicks altogether. In fact, maybe just avoid pick-up lines, they never seem to work.