Restaurants:

“Valentine’s Special” may as well be code for “keep away, lonely single people”. Unless you want to hear the instrumental versions of Dido or Adele played on repeat and the smug sounds of couples murmuring sweet nothings to each other then you should probably make February 14^th a take-away day. This is equally applicable to people in a relationship; who needs the pressure of trying to out-romance the couple putting on the PDA inches away?

A completely healthy alternative to a romantic meal

 The Gym

After around 6pm the gym will become one of the bleakest places to be in on Valentine’s day. Empty but for sexually frustrated exercise freaks trying to convince themselves they can tone themselves into a relationship, the sound of their trainers on the treadmill echoing in an empty gym and accompanied only by the running of their tears.

Spinning away the sadness

The Cinema

It’s not the couples that are the worst at the cinema on Valentine’s Day. They will undoubtedly carry themselves off to screens showing films of “The Notebook” genre. Instead it is the gaggle of girls who have convinced themselves they don’t need a significant other, they’re got each other and that’s ok! So they all go to see the least romantic film showing yet ultimately spend the entire time talking about how they wish they were there with a significant other and not a family-sized bucket of popcorn.

Sisters before misters….right???

Your Parent’s house

No. Sweet God no. Not only will you have to witness your parents showing actual affection to each other but you may also have to endure the humiliation of them asking how many cards you got or why is it you haven’t been married off yet.

Yep, that’s pretty much my feelings towards everyone middle-aged on Valentine’s Day.

Cliff Edges

If you find your sense of self-worth and confidence draining away, probably best to avoid any potential risks to your health. It’s only one day after all. Let’s not forget there are 364 other days in the year and not having somebody to buy you £5 roses from Tesco on Valentine’s isn’t the end of the world. 

Cheer up, it’s nearly over…until next year