Time to make the same brittle promises you make to yourself  with predictable bi-annual regularity. This semester I will…

Maintain better attendance

This is most certainly the the constant lie we tell our selves. One which it can be assumed around 80% of the student populous makes to themselves at some stage.

If you haven’t told yourself this at some stage then you either have perfect attendance, in which case we all hate you, or you care as much about your education as Donald Trump cares about having a wig that blends in with his head.

Be more responsible with my student loan

Thank you student loan!

“I swear this time I’m not buying anything stupid with my loan this semester. Oohh that radio-toaster-bottle open is cool!”

Ok maybe you aren’t all rushing out to buy your new “rad-oast-peners” but that isn’t to say this one holds no validity. It is quite possible that your freshly restocked bank balance is already taking a beating. Whether it be a PS4, a shitload of DVDs, those new shoes that you just had to buy because they make your wrists look slim, or simply another night out on the tiles, this is one that most of us are guilty of.

Go to uni they said. It will teach you personal and financial responsibility they said.

Go out less often

One pint we said…

This tends to correlate with number one. If you partake in a bit of midweek madness less frequently then you will end up actually turning up to class as opposed to staring at the alarm clock and pleading with it to self immolate whilst your huddled up in your room trying meekly to unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth.

And yet the moment somebody close to you delivers the immortal utterance “Union?”, this resolution tends to unravel pretty quickly…

Do my work when I get it

Essays creep up on you more stealthily than Batman

All students know that the best time to do work is when it is assigned. Otherwise it will fester in the utility room of our consciousness, right next to that time when you did that thing that nobody speaks of but everybody knows about.

Whether it be a tutorial reading, a presentation, or an essay, we all love to tell ourselves we will give ourselves some breathing room.

Fast forward 4 weeks and you are in the library at 03.30am onto your forth can of red bull, among your own little stockpile of books and cursing Harvard and their bastard reference system.

Eat out less often

To passing 2 out of 3 exams!

It’s pretty widely acknowledged that students in general don’t have the best diets and when it comes to cooking a lot of us will do the bare minimum.  Whether it’s after a night out, or you are just too lazy to cook, everybody loves a nice greasy kebab, or a some Chinese takeaway. You know, as a reward, for all the erm…”hard work” of last semester.

Well not this year. No more telling myself “I deserve nice things”. It’s time to be more responsible with my health. And not to mention my bank balance (see number 2). This year it’s a diet of carrots and barley water. Wait a minute, that sounds terrible. Wagamamas? Anybody? You, you, you?