Ranking the Love Island All Stars promo pics by how truly cursed they are

If there’s one person in this world who deserves to do a bit of jail time, it’s the Love Island photographer – for their crimes against Islanders are endless. Just when you think things can’t get more horrific, they plunge new depths of despair. I am of course talking about the truly haunting promotional cast images released by ITV for the upcoming Love Island All Stars. Not content with traumatising these people the first time round, the photographer / editor / marketing team had the bright idea of making them wear beachy attire AND shoving them on a cheap looking red carpet green screen. It’s, quite frankly, a disaster – so let’s get all 12 of the Love Island All Stars pics ranked by how cursed they are!

From the off, I have to concede the lads came off this much worse. The girlies all look glam – wearing heels and the kind of rig out you’d have on for a day around a beach club in Marbella. The lads are barefoot on a red carpet. Proceed with caution.

NOT CURSED AT ALL

12. Kaz Kamwi

Does she ever miss? Will she ever miss? Miss Kaz is incapable of missing, methinks. That’s a mother right there. Even when the photographer odds are stacked, she serves. Have to wow.

11. Georgia Harrison

Georgia Harrison gets ranked not cursed at all because she’s doing Love Island All Stars fresh off the back of sending Stephen Bear to jail, and justice looks great on her. It’s a serve.

10. Demi Jones

Finishing off the all out slay category is Demi and whilst this picture could literally be CGI, there’s no denying she gobbled it up. Joan of Arc would love this ensemble.

A LICCLE BIT CURSED

9. Georgia Steel

The fringe is giving Courtney Cox in Scream 3, sorry babes. Still loyal though.

8. Liberty Poole

Liberty unfortunately only a little bit cursed because she looks full of joy, innocence and happiness when we all know that the evil, evil Jake Cornish lurks inside the villa and the smile will soon fade to a frown.

7. Hannah Elizabeth

Never seen season one so have no clue who this is or what to expect but I feel like everyone involved with taking and styling this picture had a different vision in their minds and the end result is jarring to say the least. She looks like a potential icon, though, I must say.

CONFIRMED: CURSED

6. Toby Aromolaran

I have full length trousers shorter than these “shorts”.

5. Mitchel Taylor

Top half a few drinkies in Slug and Lettuce, bottom half a boat trip in Turkey. Stood on what looks like a Mario Kart circuit. Bosh.

OH SO VERY CURSED

4. Chris Taylor

Chris Taylor you are a Hollywood star. You have starred in Barbie – one of the highest grossing films of all time. Albeit in a small role, but you were there. Why are you lowering yourself to a shimmering short and a mesh shirt. Go home, love.

3. Luis Morrison

Again, no clue who this man is, but a very cursed image. We need to outlaw the Love Island photographer from forcing certain lads every year to do the “rubbing hands together” pose. I don’t know what they want from this pose. It makes everyone look like a Mafia boss. Grand Theft Auto: Villa.

2. Anton Danyluk

You know him, you love him, you’re a little bit scared of him: It’s ar Anton! And coming in second most cursed to the hands rubbing together pose is whatever the hell this one is! I call it the “YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?” We don’t. Weeee don’t.

CURSED BEYOND BELIEF, ABANDON SHIP!!!!!

1. Jake Cornish

Bowser. This is Bowser. I feel like I’m about to have the Mushroom Kingdom held hostage in front of my eyes when I look at this image. The final boss of the “four lads in jeans” meme. If I was Jake Cornish and if I had the reputation I had from my series, I’d be doing my upmost to look as bizarre as this. But here we are. The epitome of Love Island All Stars cursed pics out of all the ones ranked here.

I can’t wait for the mess that will be this season to begin.

Love Island: All Stars starts at 9pm Monday 15th January on ITV1, ITV2, ITVX & STV. For the latest Love Island: All Stars news, and for updates, memes and gossip – like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook. 

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