A brutally honest ranking of all 13 brooms in Hogwarts Legacy

You wouldn’t catch me dead on the Wind Wisp broom

1 year ago

Brooms’ inclusion in Hogwarts Legacy is one of the best things about the game by far – in the immortal words of Troy Bolton and Gabriella Montez, they have us both soaring and flying. All the brooms in Hogwarts Legacy have exactly the same stats – so since we can’t rank them by how fast they have you zipping through the Scottish valleys I’m going to rank them by how much of a vibe they are. Some of these are a death trap, some of them are ugly, and some of them are girlypop. Here are all 13 of the brooms in Hogwarts Legacy ranked from worst to best!

13. Family Antique

Just because something is being branded an antique does not mean it isn’t an absolute load of shite. This is bent, broken and ugly. Straight in the wood chipper methinks!

12. Lickety Swift

What the Mrs Doubtfire is going on here? I just know this one smells like cabbage and damp grandparent house. Lickety Swift also perhaps the worst name for a broom I’ve ever heard – how does it somehow look like the vacuum cleaner Mary uses in Hocus Pocus? Deeply ugly.

11. Wild Fire

Closely resembles a Nice N Spicy NikNak. It’s too knobbly bobbly, and also quite literally on fire. Death trap.

10. Moon Trimmer

What moons is this frumpy racket trimming? I like the chicness of the neat brush but hate the clobber saddle bags, the noise of that lantern clanging about and not a comfy seat in sight.

9. Wind Wisp

The threadbare brush bit is a massive ick. Looks like it needs some vast improvements.

8. Hogwarts House

If you go for this, I imagine you’re the sort of person who plays as Mario on Mario Kart, or orders your Nando’s chicken ‘plain’. Like, it’s inoffensive – sure. But this is an empty choice. The NPC broom.

7. Aeromancer

The first broom out of all the Hogwarts Legacy brooms ranked here that I actually can wholeheartedly say I quite like. We’ve got a saddle! We’ve got a chic shaft! The brush needs grooming, but I like the little cauldron dangling about. God knows what’s brewing in that or why you’d be in such urgent need for potion that you have to brew up mid flight, but it looks nice, so!

6. Yew Weaver

Look at the craftsmanship in that shaft! It’s giving wand, actually. The citrus colour wrap over the brush that looks like it’s been trimmed and groomed and pruned like a bonzai tree. Only downside is no seat? Splinters in my arse? No, ta. Style over substance.

5. Ember Dash

The Pokemon evolution of that spicy NikNak broom I slagged off before. Ember Dash is clearly still an absolute death trap considering the majority of broom riders wear capes when they ride, but unlike spicy NikNak this one has a lot of nice refined features on it that would tempt me to get a leg over and burn myself to ash.

4. Sky Scythe

A show off broom. So much going on here. Why is the brush green? Why do none of the other 12 brooms have coloured brushes? I really like this one but what if the green clashed with my ensemble? Much to think about really, but still – those qualms aside – it’s chic.

3. Silver Arrow

Something about this broom just feels so cool. I’m even going to forgive the harshness of a metal seat because the brush looks so smooth and clean and the design features are so sharp and slick. Don’t fuck with this one!

2. Bright Spark

Love this broom that exists for the girls, the gays and the theys. Two dangly little stars on the front? A blunt and edgy brush cut off? Swirly little details? She’s serving, your honour.

1. Night Dancer

This is it. This is the one. Of all the Hogwarts Legacy brooms ranked here, it’s the Night Dancer that ticks off every single box – at least in my opinion. The shaft is detailed but still practical. The brush is so neat it’s been bound with metal rings to keep it right and tight. The colour scheme is a smoky midnight blue – endlessly classy. And that seat? That’s LUXURY. By broom standards that’s basically a sofa. Masterpiece.

Hogwarts Legacy has been controversial and has garnered criticism regarding transphobic remarks from franchise creator JK Rowling since 2020. Avalanche, the developers of the game, have said she is not involved at all – but it is likely since she owns the IP rights to the franchise that she will profit from the sales.

To learn more about transgender rights or lend your support, please check out the charity Mermaids in the UK.