We *finally* asked 21 boys to confess their biggest dating icks

It’s a tale as old as time. When we talk about “biggest dating icks”, we usually think of hetero girls finding some fatal character flaw in the guy they’re with. These range from elaborate turn-offs like eating a plate of pasta and getting a speck of sauce on their chin, to questionable things like “when they brush their teeth”.

These poor guys just have to smile through the pain as they see people they’ve dated in the past listing off everything gross about them. In the interests of equality, I personally think it’s time for a little revenge…

Well – that and I’m desperate to know everything I’ve been doing wrong for the past five years.

So strap yourselves in, it’s going to be a ride. We’ve *finally* asked boys to confess their biggest dating icks – take a look and see which ones you’re guilty of:

1. ‘People who make weird sandwiches’ – Ed

I’ll let the man himself tell this story.

“I was out with this girl a couple of years ago. It got to the evening and she was getting a bit hungry. We weren’t too far away from her house, so we decided to stop by and grab something to eat.

“She told me she wanted to make a sandwich, which obviously I had no problem with. I watched on in absolute horror as she took two slices of white bread, some squirty mayonnaise and HALF A BLOCK OF CHEESE. She put the cheese in between the slices and just sat there chomping on it.

“I didn’t say anything at the time, but all I could think was – ‘this is the foulest thing I’ve ever seen in my life’. We since became great friends and it’s something we look back on at and laugh”.

2. ‘When they vote Tory just because their family does’ – Jack

Tory voters are a typical turn-off for people nowadays. But according to this guy, there’s only one thing worse than a Conservative in possession of all the damning facts – an ill-informed one.

For him, following the rest of your family without looking into why you’re voting for said party is even worse than consciously doing it. “It just shows you don’t care enough to make independent decisions”, he said.

Very astute – and I suspect not just one of these boys’ biggest dating icks.

3. ‘People who are rude to service staff’ – Adam

I’ll set the scene for you. You’re on a really promising date. You’ve bought your potential partner the drink of their choice. Their eyes are shining, capturing the subtle glow of a dimly-lit restaurant. You feel warm, happy and slightly horny.

Suddenly, they turn to the waiter and click their fingers in their face, complaining that their wine glass doesn’t have ice in it. You’re cringing so hard you feel you might turn inside out. It’s hell.

This is why you only go out with people when they’re nice to service staff.

4. ‘Being completely obsessed with astrology’ – Gabe

Apparently, it isn’t cute when we download the Co-Star app and send them daily screenshots of planetary explainers. If my moon wasn’t in Leo, I’d probably take offence at that.

5. ‘Ordering a single instead of a double’ – Chris

Seriously, what kind of a person are you?? This is a DATE. We’re here to get WRECKED.

6. ‘When they wear North Face’ – Jamie

It seems to me that one man’s yuck is another person’s yum (mine). To be fair, it feels a bit low-effort for a date.

7. ‘People who say they’re looking for a partner-in-crime’ – Liam

I’ll be honest, this also gives me second, third and fourth hand embarrassment. Why does it have the same energy as saying “this one”? Cheesy couple cliches make me want to wretch and I’ll never apologise for that.

8. ‘People who get in a huff because I haven’t texted them in a couple of hours’ – Gabe

“I’m just busy sometimes. Who has time for all that strop-throwing?” he told me.

Isn’t it just the biggest red flag when someone you’ve been talking to for, say, a *day* demands every minute of your attention? If you do this, you deserve literal crumbs.

9. ‘I stay away from all cricket fans’ – Chris

Chris didn’t expand on *why* cricket gives him the ick – but I suspect all cricket fans must be Tories. Can we get some scientists in on that?

10. ‘Chunky FILA trainers’ – Jacob

AKA the official uniform of a year 11 kid. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very style-positive. But people who pair a trench coat with chunky trainers deserve nothing but bad things. I hope Jupiter stays in retrograde for you forever.

11. ‘When they bang on about their ex’ – Alex

“Like fair enough tell me about yourself but Christ I’m trying to shag you, not your ex”, he said. As an unwilling member of the “people with shitty exes” club, sometimes you can’t help but compare. But is a first date really the time or place to be talking about it?? No wonder it’s one of these boys’ biggest dating icks.

12. ‘Noisy eating has to be my number one’ – Kyle

You’ll be at an Italian restaurant and the person opposite you will just tuck into a meal – arm around the plate like a vicious dog guarding his dinner, slurping strands of spaghetti like they’re going out of style. Then they’ll look up at you with bolognese round their mouth as if you’ve just taken a toddler out for tea. Bad vibes overall. 0/10.

 13. ‘Not here for Ed Sheeran fangirls’ – Matt

Imagine passing them the aux and they start playing Thinking Out Loud. Imagine them getting butterflies over Bad Habits-era Sheeran. Imagine them thinking that You Need Me, I Don’t Need You is the best rap song of the 2010s. I’m disgusted.

14. ‘When someone’s idea of a perfect weekend is staying inside doing nothing’ – Ross

“I just get really bored and restless”, he told me.

There are two types of people in this world – those who like to *do* things and the ones who love to stay in with Netflix and a takeaway. Fortunately, I’m both. It’s like having two girlfriends in one!!!

15. ‘Insane amounts of PDA’ – Ben

Being proud to be seen with your significant other is one thing, but when they want to just touch you 24/7? Time and a place, huns!

That being said, you should *always* make sure it’s okay with the other person before engaging in PDA. People have different boundaries and everyone’s should be respected!!

16. ‘People who are rude to their parents’ – Josh

Sorry, NOTHING is a bigger turn-off than seeing someone scream at their mum. Anyone over the age of 21 should *not* be giving their parents grief for cooking a dinner they don’t like, forgetting to do their washing or being unable to give them lifts. Safe to say this isn’t just one of the boys’ biggest dating icks.

It’s essentially a reflection of how they’ll treat you after you’ve been together for a while, isn’t it? Suddenly you’re the one getting shouted at for serving broccoli with his chicken dippers.

17. ‘Not offering to split the bill’ – Dan

Yeah!! Chivalry died ages ago!!

There’s nothing worse than someone who orders several expensive drinks for themselves before expecting you to pay for them. Going Dutch is always the way, it seems.

18. ‘Shit fashion sense’ – Steven

Obviously, this is totally subjective – but I like it when someone puts in a bit of effort on our dates. I’m talking shirt, nice shoes and a good pair of jeans (even chinos if they’re so inclined. No, I am NOT a Tory).

19. ‘Pick Me girls’ – Will

Putting other girls down to make yourself look better is so not the gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss move you think it is. We should be constantly supporting women’s rights AND wrongs.

Turns out, guys don’t even like it. Who knew?

20. ‘When they try to pull while on a date’ – Ben

I mean, come on. Surely this is just standard? Wait until *after* the date before you move on to the next one. This definitely isn’t just one of the boys’ biggest dating icks.

21. ‘When they love How I Met Your Mother’ – Harrison

This and The Big Bang Theory. Tell me you hate comedy without *telling me* you hate comedy.

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Featured image via Unsplash before edits.