You can only say you’ve dated a posh boy if you relate to at least 39/45 of these things
34. You will always come second to his mummy, so get used to it
Unis are full of posh boys, in the three years of your course it’s natural that you will at least date one of them. You can try as much as you like to avoid them, but ultimately there is just something about a posh boy we all love.
However dating them is a minefield in itself. There are no dates to Nandos or Spoons, you can’t just have a chilled pizza and a night in. Everything is intense and expensive. You spend your weekend going to his house in the country and Friday nights at his mate’s house in Fulham. His friends party hard and you’re going to have learn how to neck a bottle of champers if you want to be in a relationship with him.
Another aspect of dating a posh boy is the realisation that you are in fact dating a Tory who will always put his mother before you and calls all his mates by their surname.
Is all of this starting to sound a tad too familiar? Then you’ve definitely dated a posh boy. But to really be able to say you’ve dated posh boys you should be able to relate and know at least half of the following things:
1. Their name is one of the following – Hugo, George, Edward, James or anything that sounds like it would fit in Made in Chelsea.
2. Speaking of Made in Chelsea, he’s definitely dropped not so subtle hints he is mates with a few of the cast members.
3. His Hinge profile features the following pictures – one of him on a hunt in tweed, one of him in a suit outside a leavers ball and one in red chinos.
4. He will play rugby or hockey.
5. His flirting game is next level because anything he says in that accent is just instantly attractive.
6. Or he has no idea how to flirt because he’s too awkward at expressing emotions thanks to years at boarding school.
7. He tries to win you over with going for a walk with his dog, which is always a spaniel or a labrador.
8. He wears loafers on your dates.
9. And your dates are always to the boujiest of places – fancy restaurants, parties at their mate’s Fulham pad and art galleries.
10. If he really want to impress you, he’ll take you to a members’ club.
11. But he’ll occasionally attempt to be edgy and take you to a street food market, because that apparently makes him cool?
12. You won’t be able to get through a date without him “casually” name dropping some semi famous person who he claims is a friend of the family.
13. You are never allowed to pay the bill and for all your feminism, there’s something very fit about him taking control.
14. But unfortunately his generosity ends there, in bed he is all about himself and his needs.
15. If your borrow his jumper it’s always a Ralph Lauren one.
16. Or a Schoffel fleece.
17. A casual weekend away with his mates is anything but casual.
18. You’ll be staying in someone’s second home, dressed up, with champagne the only drink available.
19. Spending time with his mates is honestly close to torture because they’re even more posh than he is.
20. You will always run into him on campus because he spends the majority of his time moving between Pret and the Library, socialising with all his mates.
21. You’ve lied to your mates about your boyfriend voting Tory.
22. But they do quite like him because he never shows up empty handed and always gets the drinks in.
23. He’ll occasionally down play his wealth and privilege by claiming he votes Labour and tells you he’s just from outside London.
24. When in reality he’s from Surrey.
25. On a night out you’ll see his true colours when he wears a signet ring and pretends to be best mates with his dealer, who is obviously over charging him.
26. He’s not too focused on his degree, because he knows his dad will sort him out a job after uni.
27. And his degree is either PPE or History so it’s not going to get him far anyway.
28. But all this free time means he’s much more available to hang out with you.
29. Before you’ve met the parents, he briefs you that it’s ok you didn’t go to public school.
30. When you go to met the family, you’ll go to his house in the country.
31. And his mum will tell you the family history…of their labradors.
32. Drinks are always flowing, like constantly.
33. You play ibble dibble and have no idea why his family find it entertaining.
34. You will always come second to his mummy, so get used to it.
35. And you will almost get the ick hearing him call her “mummy”.
36. But he calls you “darling” in that fit privileged tone so you forget about it all.
37. Your mum falls head over heels in love with him thanks to his impeccable manners.
38. You frequently hear her say “what a nice boy” and he will do no wrong in her eyes.
39. He will never be caught dead in trackies outside the house, which makes quick trips to the shop a pain.
40. He finds it bizarre when you reveal you’ve never been skiing.
41. He frequently says how misunderstood he is.
42. You will never get Pandora as gifts, this guy is all about the good stuff.
43. He cannot handle it if you break up with him, taking it as a personal attack and probably throws a tantrum.
44. But if he break up with you it’ll be a quick text and he’ll expect you to get over it.
45. Because he already has and there’s a new girl flying out to his chateau in France as he hits send.
Featured image credit via E4