Introducing the Cosy Girl: She’s who we have all proudly become during 2020
Her wardrobe is 75 per cent loungewear
Word on the street is that there’s a new girl in town. Step aside the sad girl, this year we’ve all embraced the identity of the cosy girl.
She’s who we have all become during the whirlwind that has been 2020. Yeah, we’ve all been forced to stay in a lot, buy a whole new wardrobe full of loungewear and ditch makeup and going out clothes – but in the grand scheme of things, the cosy girl hasn’t really hated it?
She’s still fun, she’s embracing it all and we should all be loud and proud cosy girls. 2020 did not win, we did.
The cosy girl is basically the sad girl’s slightly cooler younger sister
You might be thinking that the cosy girl resembles the sad girl in lots of ways, and she does, but they are also very different. Yes, the cosy girl loves nothing more than drinking tea, sitting in her dressing gown and watching daytime TV but that is only because she has been forced to live this way. She may well be enjoying it, but the cosy girl used to be so much more fun and is pining for her pre-2020 life.
Her wardrobe is 75 per cent loungewear
All of her loungewear is matching sets, because she obviously wouldn’t be seen dead in anything else. She might be cosy, but this girl is by no means a mess – her loungewear is as vibey as it comes. It’s the kind of loungewear you could get away with wearing out if you say you’re just “running errands” for the day. Her wardrobe is now fit to bursting which matching PrettyLittleThing tracksuit sets and silk tops and bottoms.
The cosy girl hasn’t worn jeans in months, and the only time she’s dressed up in 2020 was when her and her friends decided to dress up as if they were going out to just drink wine on the sofa and listen to WAP.
Girls who buy those ‘cosy but sexy loungewear’ sets with shorts and vests must be rich to have the heating on all the time to be able to wear that in winter surely? I wear fleece pyjamas and a dressing gown 😭
— Jennifer Jordan ⚡️ (@jenniferjordanz) December 5, 2020
A typical cosy girl owns most of the following:
A pregnancy pillow (she’s not pregnant she just likes the comfort), a 2m long thin hot water bottle, UGG slippers, two dressing gowns: one for true cosiness and another silky one for show, a “special” wine glass with either her name, a slogan or “18” on it from her 18th birthday, a Primark blanket, three different eyeshadow pallets which haven’t seen the light of day for months, her own personal cushion, an enviable nail varnish collection, a bottle of fancy gin which she never drinks, a “go-to” fleece, a Kindle and a pair of slip on shoes which live near the door for quick trips to take the bins out.
And she bought at least some of the following during lockdown:
The cosy girl had already decided lockdown was going to be the time of her life, so she was well ahead with planning how she was going to become the best version of her domesticated self. There is no doubt she got a number of dumb kitchen appliances or utensils bought in lockdown when she was convinced she would be making bread and baking every day, or believed a taco press was an essential item. She also treated herself to one very expensive moisturiser or serum, an LED nail kit when she discovered the salons were closed, loads of scented candles, some sort of home-exercise essential like a yoga mat, weights or a hula hoop.
She hasn’t worn makeup since March
Usually she’s the one who spends hours getting ready for a night out, is a big time makeup gal and shares her million-and-one different powders, palettes and sticks with everyone. But since the clubs have been shut, she claims she’s just “letting her skin breathe” and has been bare-faced since March.
She’s definitely put her Christmas decorations up in November
“We need something to look forward to!!” she said, as she placed “Santa Baby” on and danced around the lounge with the tinsel. Since then she’s sat surrounded by her own decorations commenting on how “warm”, “wholesome” and “cute” the place is now.
The cosy girl is always in the group chat talking about being desperate to go back to clubs, but low-key she’s happy as she is
“Can’t wait to be dancing with you guys to this!!!” she says as she sends 34+35 down the girls’ group chat AGAIN. But low-key, she’s become way too happy with getting into PJs, grabbing a glass of wine and having a takeaway – this is her life now and she ain’t mad about it.
She’s a daytime and reality TV connoisseur and moans about having completed Netflix on the regular
The cosy girl now behaves how she once used to every Sunday with a hangover, just now it’s every day and minus the going out part. She curls up on the sofa (in her matching loungewear, of course) and watches TV literally all day. She has every single streaming account there is. Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu – you name it, she has it. Any TV show you ask her about now – she’s watched it, has read the spoilers, shared the memes and taken the quizzes to see which character she is.
She is an advocate for ‘it’s 5pm somewhere’
When she’s not sipping her 10th cup of tea of the day, the cosy girl can often be caught with a glass of rosé in hand. “It’s 5pm somewhere lols!” she says as she heads back to the sofa to resume the exact position she has been in all day.
The cosy girl definitely didn’t share her Spotify Wrapped because it was way too tragic
Top one per cent of Harry Styles, Little Mix AND Ariana Grande streams? Not me x
She has on multiple occasions suggested creating a group TikTok account
“WE COULD BE FAMOUS!!!!!” Sure.