Here’s what the Love Island cast do, according to their LinkedIns
Brb, reaching out to Lucie for mentorship
After a few days in the villa, Love Island 2019's contestants have been slipping out revelations about their backgrounds. Michael's a firefighter, Yewande's got a degree, and Anton's been done for blackface.
But to really get to know them, we need to delve into LinkedIn, the graveyard of banter.
Unsurprisingly, Yewande's LinkedIn is impressive. With 291 followers and a job as a "Quality Assurance Specialist" at pharmaceutical company Bristol Myers-Squibb, it's no surprise she has so many endorsements.
Before that, she worked at Pfizer (the people who make Viagra) and Abbott, but it's her education which really stands out.
We all know she started uni at 16, so it's hardly shocking to find out Yewande got a first in her undergrad and quickly moved on to a Master's. She graduating from Dublin Institute of Technology last year, whilst Hayley Hughes was still not really getting Brexit.
By now, we all know Michael went to Liverpool John Moores and smashed a biomedical sciences degree whilst working as a bartender. And his LinkedIn has all that, sure.
What we didn't know was that Michael is bang into basketball. Specialising as as a point guard, he's got aspirations to play in either the USA or Europe.
He's got backing, too. Connections have endorsed him for "sports management", "athletics", and "player development".
I honestly thought LinkedIn was made for people from school who work in niche marketing jobs. It's their flex, and that's okay.
Until I saw Lucie's LinkedIn and realised that there is no social media platform influencers will not conquer.
Lucie has got Love Island on her LinkedIn. How? Is the same mate running her Insta also accepting connection requests whilst Lucie frets about the next recoupling?
You can reach out to her for mentoring and contracting.
Her 11 bits of experience range across modelling, surfing, and ambassadorial work.
She considers herself to be "socially aware, compassionate, hard working and extremely motivated."
Oh, and she even has a website (lucierosedonlan.com) with blogs and all her magazine covers. I did a quick search and there were 0 results for "bev".
No pic on the LinkedIn though, which is unusual.
Anna's LinkedIn isn't quite on Lucie's level, but the experience speaks for itself.
She currently works at the Portobello Clinic, a fancy private doctors in Notting Hill.
Before her string of professional experience, Anna bagged a 2:1 in Pharmacy from South West London's Kingston University.
Anton's profile has the most emphatic LinkedIn Energy of any of the cast.
He's got a string of fitness qualifications, but what really draws the eye are the two articles he's written.
First up is "The Top 20 Reasons to Send Your Kid to Summer Camp", a promo for his fitness ranch's summer camp.
In true "rules do not matter to a true hustler" style, every item on the list is number one.
The only thing which could outdo this energy is his next work: "Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe with Corporate Events."
Honestly just get this straight into my veins.
And yet he only has one connection. (Are you Anton's only connection? Email us on firstname.lastname@example.org)
Curtis has a legitimately impressive CV, and lets that do the work on his sparse LinkedIn.
He's on Irish Dancing with the Stars and you, my friend, are not. How does that feel?
Just look how he twirls around.
The rest don't seem to have LinkedIn. Shame.
Do you know any of this year's Islanders? Email us at email@example.com