Here are seven of the wildest things you can actually pay an Etsy witch to do

Etsy witches are all the rage right now, and have gone viral on TikTok. Influencer Becca Bloom recently revealed she paid an Etsy witch to make sure it didn’t rain on her wedding day, and guess what? It didn’t. Whether you believe in witchcraft or not, you can’t deny it’s a spooky coincidence.

And on a much darker note, last month Jezebel news published an article titled “We Paid Some Etsy Witches to Curse Charlie Kirk”, and then he was fatally shot.

It turns out, though, that commissioning witches on Etsy isn’t some dark corner of the web, it’s booming business. From stopping the rain at weddings to making your ex go bald, there’s an Etsy witch for pretty much everything.

Credit: Canva

A quick search for “witch spell” on Etsy brings up thousands of listings. You can grab a spell for good weather for £8.99, or splurge £40 for something a bit more intense, like revenge, soulmate attraction, or hexing someone’s genitalia so it “doesn’t work outside the relationship.” (That’s a real quote.)

One UK-based Etsy witch offers a “Erase Loans and Debt Spell” for just £1.16, and claims to help you financially: “Release yourself from the weight of loans, debts, and financial struggles with my powerful Erase Loans and Debt Spell. This unique ritual is expertly crafted to attract wealth, bring in money, and dissolve old financial blocks, opening new doors to abundance and prosperity.”

Some witches even double as psychics, offering tarot readings and aura cleanses, though many list their services as “for entertainment purposes only” to dodge Etsy’s ban on “metaphysical services”.

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@lucysinead The Etsy witches doing the lords work #bridetok #2025bride #weddingday #etsy ♬ original sound – Lucym

The rise in spell-shopping seems to track with a growing obsession with alternative spirituality, especially in chaotic times. One seller said their clients range from “brides-to-be” to “people who’ve just been dumped and want karmic justice ASAP”.

@popstar.katie ETSY WITCHES@FOREVERRR #etsywitch ♬ original sound – Popstar.katie

But the testimonials are where things get really wild. One TikTok asks: “I’m bored, tell me the craziest thing you’ve ever used an Etsy witch for and how it worked. I’m talking about something otherwise inexplainable.”

The comments certainly came through, so here are seven of the best things that people have paid an Etsy witch for.

@sydneelabuda if you can’t tell I recently went down an Etsy Witch rabbit hole and I’m obsessing over what reading / spell to buy #etsywitch #spell #tarotreading ♬ original sound – NYES | Fashion

This woman paid an Etsy witch to make her ex go bald

“I kept a piece of my abusive ex’s hair and took it to an Etsy witch. She made him go bald… within a year. I send her holiday cards yearly now.”

One Etsy Witch totaled a car

“I’m an Etsy witch. One of my clients said a tree fell on the third party’s vehicle. Safe to say he was relatively unharmed, but the spell worked.”

This one predicted someone’s soulmate

“I paid an Etsy witch to draw my soulmate. Didn’t really like the guy they drew but he seemed nice. Forgot about it. Saw the purchase in my order list the other day and looked at it for a laugh but, the past four years, I’ve been with a man that is an exact copy of this drawing.”

And this one turned a woman into… a mermaid?

“A few years ago, I used an Etsy spell to become a mermaid. Now I get serious depression if I live more than 5 miles from the ocean. Coincidence? I think not.”

This witch helped a woman get a new job

“I did a job spell last year because my job at the time had cut everyone’s hours to practically nothing and I was looking for either a second one or new one entirely. One of the things I specified was a peaceful work environment. Walked into my job the next day and accidentally read the coworker I didn’t like’s resignation note effective immediately. I also got my current job a couple weeks later.”

One woman paid a witch to find a lost parcel

“I got drunk and paid an Etsy witch to help me get a super expensive purse that I had bought that had been delivered to the wrong person. I was real sad about it, I told them I didn’t want anything bad to happen to the person it was delivered to, just for them to send it on to me. I was refunded, thought that was that, and a week later the purse was on my doorstep. I was shaking when I opened it, it was crazy!”

This Etsy witch hexes a specific body part

“I started my business with an abundance spell and am still alive, fed, can afford my health insurance and the very basics. I’m amazed every day that I am still making it by largely doing 3rd party removals and hexing guys penises so they don’t work outside the relationship. People want what they want!”

Whether it’s placebo, manifestation, or actual magic, it’s clear: If you’ve ever wished you could wave a magic wand to fix your problems, someone on Etsy is already selling one.

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Featured image credit: TikTok/@popstar.katie, Canva