Five tips for surviving a Crisis All-Nighter as a Notts student

When you first arrive in Nottingham, you might wonder why there’s such an obsession with Crisis.

What’s the fun in downing VKs and getting kicked out of a club by a bouncer in the early hours of Thursday morning?

To understand this, think of being a student like that strange period between Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve—where having a session on a Wednesday night is not only acceptable but encouraged.

You’ll see this first hand when you step through the doors of Rock City and join hundreds, if not thousands, of fellow UoN students.

At The Tab, our mission is not to question the inevitable, but to help you prepare for when those rare Crisis all-nighters roll around and you’re left wondering: How do I survive this?

Have a nap

If you have committed to going the distance, i.e. leaving Crisis at 6am, you’re going to need the energy. Luckily for you, the top brass at the University of Nottingham have ensured that there are no lectures after lunch on a Wednesday. Clearly, they realise that for most students a Crisis night out looms.

Unless you’re a sportsman, the only thing left for you to do is go home, hit the hay, and recharge. These are the first, vital moments in what is going to be a long night. Without the sacred nap, the night could be over for you at an abysmal 1am, when your eyes start closing to Baddadan. These couple hours of unadulterated bliss, though they may wreck your sleeping pattern, will keep you two stepping in the black cherry lounge until the very end.

Charge your phone

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This goes without saying, really. Do not be that person who gets lost and is found eight hours later trying to order a greasy kebab with a student card.

More importantly, you are going to need your phone to pay for the infinite Jager bombs that were promised to the “best mate” you met five minutes ago in the smoking area. In all seriousness though, keep it charged so you can stay safe and contact the necessary people when things don’t quite go as planned.

Choose your shoes wisely

Rock City is big, and to a newcomer, may look like a pimped-out Hogwarts with its numerous staircases. You do not want to climb those in anything but a pair of trainers, even if you’re as sober as a nun.

Moreover, the ground is home to unsavoury liquids, ranging from spilt Hooch to a rugby player’s vomit. So, dump your heels at home, because it’s not the Met Gala, and chuck on those battered Air Forces you got on that holiday in Turkey.

Anything else will leave you wondering the next day why you wasted a good pair on an underwhelming night, and why they squelch as you put them back on.

Pace yourself

Another obvious one.

Let’s say pres start at 8pm and you aim to go all night. With a bit of quick maths, you’re going to be partying for a solid ten hours. Maybe don’t drink your second bottle of wine on the tram into town and don’t down that eighth beer. We understand the temptation of going hard early to spend less at the club. This, however, is a fallacy. Experience should tell you that the drunker you are, the more inclined you are to buy drinks. Of course, that’s assuming you even make it to Rock City. You might find yourself tucked up in bed by 11pm because you chunned on the tram, leaving your flat mate to take you home instead.

Clear your schedule for the next day

At The Tab, we would never dream of telling you to skip your lectures or a seminar. Only in emergencies is this truly necessary, and this, unfortunately, constitutes an emergency.

If the plan is to stay until the lights turn on, you’ll be drifting off to sleep at a cool 7am with the birds singing outside your window. It is simply unrealistic to promise yourself that you will attend a 9am or even a 1pm lecture. Even if you somehow stumble into the Coates Building still smelling like a brewery, you’ll be too busy feeling sorry for yourself to listen.

So, take the day off, cook yourself a greasy breakfast and get ready to go again on Friday.

So there we have it. Five very simple, yet effective steps to make your Crisis night as pleasant and as bearable as possible. Of course, going to uni means a lot of mistakes will be made, and missing at least one of these is inevitable.

By third year, however, you’ll be a pro and survival will be second nature. If you’re a fresher, all we can say is good luck and you’ll learn eventually.

Related articles recommended by this author:

• Here are all the best ways to beat homesickness as a Nottingham student
• The seven types of flatmates you’ll encounter in halls as a Notts fresher 
• We’re recruiting new writers! Here’s why you should join The Tab Nottingham’s team