Renesmee Cullen turns 18 today, so here’s an ode to Twilight’s biggest, best, endless meme

‘Happy birthday to our favourite abomination!’


When I was a teenager in the prime of Twilight, I never could decide where I stood on it. Did I hate it? Was I obsessed with it? In theory, I thought it was abysmal. I am a child of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer era – and my eternal and undying love for that show dominates and rules my enjoyment of anything vampire that will always either be favourably or unfavourably compared to it. The only thing that could kind of hold a candle to it was True Blood. And yet, for some time in the waning years of my school era, I was writing Bella Swan quotes in the back of my school planner as some form of angsty graffiti. And yet I never read past Eclipse and didn’t even watch the final films until years later. Do you know what made me finally watch them? A very strange looking, robotic child vampire called Renesmee Cullen. Wow. Today, Twilight Saga diva Renesmee Cullen in all her glorious weirdness celebrates her birthday and turns 18. No better day to celebrate her impact on the internet and our hearts!

It’s not really the fault of the books that Renesmee Cullen has the legacy of a much mocked meme, even though her origins there are admittedly cringe. Whether you’re the lovechild of a fictitious vampire romance love affair or not, calling anyone a blend of their two mother’s names is worthy of a big fat LOL. It reminds me of when these two gays I know got married and instead of one or the other taking a surname (or better still, changing nothing), they decided to merge their surname into one ugly mess. Perhaps this sealed Renesmee Cullen’s fate before she even got onto the screen: Doomed to be perpetually mocked for all eternity.

But it was the Chuckesmee animatronic doll that never actually got used that lives on forever, in all its harrowing glory.

But mocked she is with love. It is just utterly hilarious, with her digitally altered face, when the vampire child is aging up rapidly and we get this bizarre toddler era with a crazy face. It has been the stuff of internet legend for eternity – and now we must celebrate her turning 18.

We unfortunately know who will be celebrating today. Because Jacob Black, who imprinted on Renesmee as his soul mate when she was moments old – for some reason, now gets to be with her. It’s all weird and gross, isn’t it? It’s always been weird and gross. I remember Stephanie Meyer never giving any details about what they might be up to in case she decided to go back and write it. Feel mostly relieved celebrating Twilight Saga’s Renesmee Cullen turning 18 that we’ve never had that see the light of day. At least not to my knowledge.

Happy birthday to our darling 18 year old Renesmee Cullen. You may not know it as you live out your fictional vampire life, but we in the real world have had you amuse us for years. Years of laughing at that silly little face. It has brought us endless joy and will do so forever. Here’s to another 18 years, you spooky little abomination.

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