I Kissed a Boy masseria

Since I Kissed a Boy has got everyone saying it, what the actual hell is a ‘masseria’?

If you’re feeling uncultured, you’re not alone

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When I first heard Her Royal Highness Danielle Jane Minogue say someone would be “leaving the masseria’, I assumed she’s said nursery and it just sounded funny in an Australian accent. Why Dannii would be saying nursery to a load of adult gays I have no idea, but considering I’d never heard the word masseria in my life it was an easier conclusion for my English pea brain to come to. I have held my tongue until episode four of I Kissed a Boy came around before having no option but to confess on Twitter that I actually have never heard the word masseria in my silly little life. Thankfully, I was reassured I wasn’t alone. I’ve got all you gays and girlies covered though – here’s what a masseria is, and a good old guess as to why the show doesn’t just call it a word beginning with ‘v’…

What’s an Italian masseria, then?

A masseria is an Italian fortified farmhouse, on a boujie estate. In the 16th to 18th century, they’d be owned by agricultural barons. They’re similar to Spanish Fincas, basically just a big house next to woodland or plantation that throughout history would have been working for agricultural purposes. These days, most are pretty much holiday homes. Why can’t we just call them villas, I might hear you cry… There’s a few theories why the masseria is not being called one on I Kissed a Boy.

Were you silent, or were you silenced?

I won’t beat around the bush: There are a lot of similarities between I Kissed a Boy and a certain other big dating show on the telly that famously doesn’t have any gays on it. Streets are saying the reason why we’re all learning what a masseria is is because the show has not referred to the masseria as a villa in order not to get into any murky waters with similar shows of a similar ilk. I’m sure you’re catching my very obvious drift there, but yes. Masseria era is here to stay, I fear.

I Kissed a Boy continues Sunday and Monday at 9pm on BBC Three and iPlayer.

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