Edi students tell us the biggest secret they’ve kept from their flatmates

Whether you’re a fresher in halls, or a fourth year tenement flat dweller, you’re bound to be experiencing the highs and lows of living with other people. This can sometimes lead to lasting, life-long friendships, but most of the time boils down to the fact that someone didn’t clean their rice cooker out before going home and now a new life form is growing in the kitchen.

But sometimes students want a peaceful life, and that can mean not always telling your flatmates about everything that goes on.

We asked over on The Edinburgh Tab Instagram for some of the biggest secrets you’ve kept from your flatmates, and if Mean Girls is correct, then some of you must have absolutely gigantic heads of hair:

‘I f****d her mum’

Wow. I have so many questions.

Yeah that’s a family destroying secret right there. MILF has changed to MIHF in this case.

‘Sat ketted out of my face while we were all trying to sort a repair form’

That actually seems like a great solution to those awful repair forms.

How is a photo supposed to convey my shower that has no water coming out of it?

‘Always steal their pants and socks from the drying rack’

Well, at least you know they’re clean.

Nobody’s gonna know

‘My friend had sex in their bed’

I’m praying they at least didn’t stain the bed.

‘Did the deed in the kitchen (they’re really against doing the deed in the kitchen)’

The hob wasn’t the only thing getting turned on.

‘I melted their spatula on the hob’

Maybe this is the same person as the previous one, after all spatulas have many uses…

‘Have been using/stealing his olive oil since New Year’

Don’t we all?

‘Constantly stealing his Sainsbury’s cookies and blaming it on the mice’

I mean those mice would be working overtime to be carrying those cookies.

He’s definitely guilty

‘Not my secret, but my ex-flatmate fessed up to pissing in our bowls in her room’

No words. No wonder they’re your ex-flatmate.

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‘Gave them all scabies’

I looked up what scabies was and now I regret it.

‘F****d myself with her cucumber lol’

Did you keep the wrapper on for a more realistic safe sex experience?

‘Had a FWB arrangement for six months but hid it because they were judgemental af’

Six months is a long time to manage to keep sneaking someone in and out, I’m impressed.

‘Ate tiny bits of their meal prep when drunk so they wouldn’t notice’

Something about eating tiny bits of raw carrot does hit different when drunk.

Thanks bestie xoxo

‘Bought a ready seasoned roast chicken and told him we used his mum’s recipe’

Well, depending on his mum’s recipe, the ready seasoned bit might have been an improvement on the real thing.

‘I broke the pink plate (Shrubhill people get it)’

I’m not from Shrubhill, and I have no idea what the significance of this pink plate is.

‘During exams I ran out of clean clothes so started stealing their socks’

I’m wearing stolen socks right now, zero judgement here.

‘Pissed in their potted plant when drunk’

Probably the first time it had been watered since they bought it.

‘Every time he gets mad about missing a spoon we hide another one’

It’s a *spoontaneous* act (I’ll see myself out).

Spot the rogue fork

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