Just a list of things which aren’t a substitute for a personality
Loves dogs, gin enthusiast, pizza diet x
Do you like coffee and enjoy eating Greggs sausage rolls? Do you stop when there's a puppy on the train, say "false" like Dwight Schrute and have "enjoys The Office" in your Tinder bio? Have you ever said "I looooove cheese", watch Game of Thrones or used emojis in a text?
Well if you do you can fuck off, because according to angry people on the internet all these things make you soulless as you try and substitute them for a personality. Anything you claim to like or dislike – really normal things like watching television, having hobbies or drinking wine – is all a massive lie and a way to fool everyone into thinking you're interesting. Oh you like dogs? So does everyone you moron.
If you enjoy any of the following normal, pleasurable things in life, the internet wants you to keep it to yourself instead of using it as a substitute for a personality:
Greggs
Can we leave “liking Greggs as a substitute for having a personality” in 2018 please
— Patrick Swayne 🇵🇸 (@pswayne7) January 2, 2019
Watching The Office UK/US
some men need to learn that liking the office isn't a substitute for a personality
— antonia (@the_antonian) January 5, 2019
twitter was much more fun before people made worshipping the office into a substitute for a personality
— Kal (@KyLO_mang) January 9, 2019
Dogs
A lot of people substitute "liking dogs" for "having a personality"
— Dennis Roberts (@dennyroberts) January 8, 2019
Drinking gin
listen i love gin as much as the next white girl but why do some people use gin as a substitute for a personality
— Alice Lia Maro (@slimelia) November 30, 2018
Shaving your head
Think some lads need to realise that shaving their head and having piercings is not a substitute for having an actual personality
— teeth ledger (@alexbeez05) November 1, 2018
And bleaching it
me: “lmao bleached hair is not a substitute for personality”
me: bleaches hair to substitute having an personality— spen (@encreps) November 4, 2018
Emojis
Game of Thrones
Going to the gym
Just a friendly reminder that contantly being in the gym isn’t a substitute for having a personality
— Sophuckingoode (@SophieRachael95) January 7, 2019
Having emotions x
Pizza
i wish people on the internet would realize that liking pizza isn't a substitute for personality
— Mikey Intifada (@MicSchirtzer) March 25, 2016
And loudly hating pineapple pizza
An opinion about pineapple on pizza is no substitute for a personality.
— Kenneth Rexroth Stan Account (@ExileTheology) January 3, 2019
Hating Love Island
Eating cheese
Wearing any kind of hat
Me to me: wearing berets is not a substitute for a personality
— almond milquetoast (@gingersnaps93) October 19, 2018
Hey bro that Fedora isn't a substitute for a personality.
— Gabe Halal Cartels Enjoyer Pacheco (@gabe_pacheco) May 6, 2013
Smoking weed
Haha yeah bro I’m like a real stoner let me tell you some trivia about weed to substitute for a real personality
— very angry stage rat 🐀 (@Baileyonstage) January 11, 2019
Or taking any drugs
Doing drugs is not a substitute for a personality.
— GRITCULT (@GRITCULT) December 7, 2018
Being vegan
Letting everyone know you DON'T like football
Vocally not liking football is not a substitute for a personality.
— Darren Richman (@darrenrichman) July 5, 2018
Beards
so bored of boys thinking that a beard is an acceptable substitute for a personality 😴
— KT (@katiexdrink) January 20, 2014
Listening to Drake, and thinking it's really deep
Enjoying travelling
Horoscopes
knowing about star signs and ‘birth charts’ isn’t a substitute for a personality x
— chillzilla (@kj_christie) August 25, 2018
Drinking wine
Beverages are not a substitute for personality. You're not a wine enthusiast
— Andrew Mengel (@Andrew_Mengel) July 7, 2015
Strong views on the Oxford Comma
Passion for the Oxford comma isn't a substitute for a personality.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) March 2, 2017
Yoga
She's a classic example of someone who relies on yoga as a substitute for a personality. #firstdates
— … (@mrmuskisacunt) November 19, 2015
Craft beer
Say it with me y’all! 🗣 LIKING CRAFT BEER IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR A PERSONALITY ! !
— thats taika miluv (@egtcoolbeans) September 16, 2018
Piercings
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