12 things you’ll notice on a sober night out in York

Everyone is accustomed to nights out on York. But, some of us choose to do this sober.

“Why would you do that?” you ask. For some it’s religion whilst for others it is a choice.

Sober nights out in York are an experience, and these are all the weird things that you’ll notice if you ever go on one.

1. Money and alcohol appear to have an inverse relationship: The more alcohol someone consumes, the less they are concerned with how they will pay for it.

Pres: “Guys I’m so poor I need to water down my vodka”
Bus journey: “I’m just going to get 2 VKs and be done”
Bar: “Shots for EVERYONE”

2. Going out in York is comparable to standing in front of a wind turbine without the comfort of alcohol induced warmth.

3. Your patience dwindles as you listen to someone say the same thing for the eleventh time in the Salvos smoking area.

4. Everyone goes wild for the third round of Mr. Brightside in Society like they don’t remember the first two.

5. The girls’ toilets are a hub of chatty drunks who tells you how gorgeous your dress is as you use the hand dryer

6. Emotional drunks will laugh at everything during pres and then cry the whole bus journey home.

7. Oblivious drunk friends feel the need to let everyone know constantly that they aren’t drunk at all, they’re just enjoying the music.

8. Most of the time when someone is mourning the loss of their phone, they’ve actually just put it in a different pocket.

9. Spit. It’s everywhere. At least when you’re sober you won’t accidentally step in it.

10. That one person from your seminar group you’re vaguely acquainted with but don’t know well enough to talk to, so you desperately avoid eye contact because God knows what you would say to them if you did lock eyes.

11. That, through stone cold sober eyes, Salt and Pepper is actually pretty gross.

12. The bad choices your drunk friends make which you can file away and use against them next time you play Never Have I Ever.

Featured image credit: York Parties